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Modern Day Missionaries
The “Modern Day Missionaries” podcast discusses topics that affect the lives of Christian missionaries on the mission field in the areas of faith, freedom, family, and finances. It is produced by "Modern Day Missions" and hosted by Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez.
Each episode in the “Modern Day Missionaries” podcast is a conversational interview where Stephanie hosts guests who are experts in their fields and who either are or have been missionaries, or who serve in the missions space. At Modern Day, we want to help missionaries be their very best so they can give their very best!
Learn more about "Modern Day Missions" https://www.modernday.org/
Modern Day Missionaries
The Restless Missionary and the Invitation to Be Whole Again with Cheryl Scanlan
What happens when your identity in Christ feels solid, but deep down, you’re still exhausted, fragmented, and unsure who you really are? Many missionaries live in a cycle of spiritual striving and internal disintegration—even while faithfully serving. The result? Burnout, weariness, and a haunting sense that something is off, even if they can’t name it.
This conversation gently opens the door to a new way of living. Our guest is Cheryl Scanlan—Master Certified Coach, director of Promised Land Living, and author of The Way of Rest. Together, we unpack the deep internal exhaustion that so many missionaries experience, and the quiet fragmentation that can happen when identity gets wrapped in ministry activity. Cheryl walks us through her seven-step process to move out of striving and into wholeness, rest, and delight in Christ.
If you’re longing for more than just surviving, this episode offers powerful insight and practical steps toward soul-deep restoration.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn
- How internal exhaustion can persist—even when you're doing what God has called you to do
- What it means to live with powerful dependence on God, not self-sufficiency
- Why spiritual burnout often stems from identity wrapped in performance
- How to notice your personal red flags that you're living from the false self
- What Cheryl’s seven-step shift process is—and how it leads to rest, delight, and reintegration
Hey missionaries—how are your finances on the field? At Modern Day Missions, we make it simple for missionaries to receive donations and for donors to give. Serving 1,100+ missionaries worldwide, we free you to focus on your calling. We also offer resources like our weekly podcast, fundraising coaching, and a resource-packed newsletter. Connect with us at modernday.org
Thanks for listening! Email us your questions at care@modernday.org
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Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Do you ever feel like there's an internal war going on inside of you? Almost like there are these different pieces or versions of you that are fighting to take control, and you're trying to figure out who the real you is. It's exhausting. And then on top of that, you're running and producing and doing things, and there's this bone-tired weariness that can hit, and maybe you even have a sense of your identity in Christ; you know who you are in Him. You're a son or daughter or God. And even though you know that it's like something still isn't clicking for you, you don't know how to really rest. You don't know how to breathe; you're wondering, Am I even doing what I'm supposed to be doing? There's this sense of internal unrest, even as you take steps to rest.
What if you're operating from a version of yourself that God never asked you to be? So today you're gonna meet my mentor and dear friend, Cheryl Scanlon. She's a master certified coach, and she's the founder of Promised Land Living, and she's also the author of the new book, "The Way of Rest," which walks people out of spiritual striving and into a whole new way of living.
It's amazing. At the end of the interview, I will let you know that I got a little bit more vulnerable than I was planning on getting. Give me some grace, but I do it as part of an exercise that Cheryl will walk you through at the very same time she's walking me through. And I believe it could be the first step for you toward finding out the true you that God made you to be. So I invite you, come and do it with me.
Cheryl, I could not be happier to have you back with us today. Welcome to the Modern Day Missionaries Podcast.
Cheryl Scanlan: I am so glad to be here with you, Stephanie. Truly.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Cheryl, you know, as I was preparing for today, I was really reflecting on my own time in the field and just thinking about seasons where I was doing everything I believe. God was calling me to do at that time, you know, leading, serving, discipling, raising a family, doing all the stuff, having a good time. And on the outside, it looked like everything was going great, and sometimes it was like, there were moments on the inside when I was utterly exhausted, and I didn't know how to slow down. And I think part of it's, I really, truly loved what I was doing, and I felt so grateful to get to do it, and in all I was doing for others.
If I'm gonna be real, I think there were moments where I didn't really know who I was anymore. It's because it's like I let my activities begin to define how others saw me, and then, in turn, how I saw myself. And sometimes I liked myself and I felt like me, and other times I didn't. And it felt forced. But you know, those feelings, that recognition, I think only came out when I really slowed down, and I didn't wanna slow down.
So I did what a lot of other missionaries keep doing. I just kept moving. Because then you don't have to feel those feelings. And I knew I wasn't the only one then. And I know I'm not the only one now. I think some missionaries are struggling with those identity questions and that pressure feeling like you constantly have to be producing something for God or are being defined by what it is that you're doing.
So I'd just love to start here, Cheryl, as someone who's also in ministry, and you help people live from that place of groundedness in Christ and knowing who He made them to be and as individuals, too, how He made us each to be. When's a time when you realize that you were in that doing and going mode and feeling that internal weariness, maybe not from what you were doing, but from why you were doing it?
Cheryl Scanlan: Oh my goodness. Well, it's hard to pick one. I would like to admit to your listeners that this was not a one-and-done; there have been multiple times I've had to go to a passage, and I'll bring it to you now, it's from Isaiah 30. It might be one that we're pretty familiar with. “For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength. But you were unwilling.”
Now think about this, the Lord God, Holy One of Israel. So He's using a big name for Himself here in repentance and rest, you'll behave and quietness and trust is your strength, and here's the kicker, but you are not willing.
And if you go back and you look at that word rest, and we'll talk about this in a couple of different versions of the word rest, but this particular one is about quietness, tranquility, and satisfaction. And so when I lose my sense of satisfaction in the Lord, I seek satisfaction somewhere from my external forces or community or services, and the tiredness starts to come.
And in a sense, and this is gonna feel really hard, please don't, don't stop this podcast when you hear this, because there's no condemnation to what I'm sharing, but it's the truth. What happens is we replace God with something else. It becomes an idol, and idols are everywhere we replace God, but we think it's going to bring us life. And there's only one place that we get life, and that is through Him. So when I'm in these places where I'm really tired, I will give you at least one story, it's because we have given, we said, Okay, your life and your God and all that stuff, but man, this makes me feel very alive over here, makes me feel good about myself. This makes me feel purposeful. This makes me feel… fill in the blank.
“Living large for God” is literally draining us. It's draining us from the inside out.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah, it's that bone-tired weariness, and I love that you said it happens more than once, because it's true. I think this is something you have to constantly fight against. It never goes away. I've been through Promised Land Living, which we'll talk about later, the phenomenal groups that you lead, and your team leaders lead, and have gotten to the point where, like, Okay, I'm good. I'm in "The Way of Rest," I'm living free, I'm living light. And I found myself back there again and again.
I remember the last time. I had a conversation at one point with my coach friend because, and this makes me think about you, we talked about that phrase from Isaiah: not willing. And I just was like, in a place of overwhelm, laid it all out on the table, and my coach is walking me through it. We're talking, and she finally gets to the point. She goes, Can I just say something? And I'm like, Yeah. She goes, I feel like you don't wanna give any of this up. I feel like you wanna keep running at this pace. And I got to be really honest with myself at that moment and go, You're right. I don't wanna give any of it up.
It's like this feeling of like, we wanna keep doing all this stuff. Because, like you said, it makes you feel good. There's applause in it, there's checklists, there's boxes, and the second we stop, it's just, it's so heavy feels so weary. You mentioned that you've had moments like that in life. What's one that stands out to you, Cheryl?
Cheryl Scanlan: So, one thing I think we've talked about before, but I think it bears repeating because it follows every time that I've hit the wall. This has happened when I was healing from Lyme disease. I loved my time with God. So I thought, I had burned my red cape of self-sufficiency, you know? I realized I could not leap from 18-story buildings and not go crashing down to the ground. And I recognize that a thousand years has been a day, and a day has been a thousand years, and God's calendar, but not in mine. And so everything changed for me. I started working more in this world of Kairos rather than being bound to Kronos. Kronos faded, and it became so much more about the moments that God was presenting me with to live into. There was a piece of me so dependent upon Him.
My dependency on others kind of stripped me of all those layers of pride, and it trained me; my community started to train me in my dependency upon Him. Well then, I had this gift of a miraculous healing, and I became terrified. Because I was like, I don't wanna do it. For a little while, I was okay, but then over time I was like, oh my gosh, I'm feeling the angst, and I'm starting to get short with people, I'm losing my joy and enthusiasm for what I'm doing, but man, I'm gonna grind it out because I know how to grind it out, man. And I was scared.
The thing I'd love for your readers to hear. I was too scared to go to God with my concern, which shows you how far I had moved away from my dependency upon Him.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: And what do you think made you feel too scared in that moment?
Cheryl Scanlan: What was I gonna have to give up? The flesh doesn't wanna give anything up, so my flesh was ruling. Finally, I got to a point where I became so disgusted with my situation. I sat down before the Lord and said, What is happening? I didn't know what to expect. I didn't have my Bible open like I do now, but I heard it, and this is what I heard: You changed your question. I’m like, What does that mean?
Here's what I came to realize, and I don't know if the second part came from the Lord or if this was just me processing through. But I do know that you changed your question. Your word from the Lord was clear, and what I realized was that when I was sick, the question I would ask was, Lord, what would you have me do with the strength you gave me today? That question protects us from burnout. It protects us from overachievement. It protects us from being too concerned about what you are thinking and what would what your expectations are. It protects us from pleasing others, all of that, because I can only work with little old myself and whatever the Lord has given me for today, that's all I got. And my question is, what would you have me do with the strength you've given me today? This led to these increasing moments of delight and joy, which we'll talk about in a minute.
Because my question turned to this, Lord, give me the strength I need to get everything done I need to do today. And my question, my open, dependent, childlike question of total dependence, utter dependence, turned into a demand. Give me what I need to do today. Wow.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah, that's a different thing between that request and demand. Wow.
Cheryl Scanlan: A very different thing. So when I was in that space, and my team would tell you that if you interviewed anyone from the Promised Land Living team during that time, they would tell you that I was really entering a stage of burnout; my body was failing me. My mind was slow. I was trying so hard not to snap at people. I was on high doses of steroids, and every single day, I did not feel like myself.
I felt like I was becoming more and more fractured and disintegrated for myself, which is the exact opposite of what I long for all of us in the body of Christ. I want us to live integrated lives. And finally, the team said, You need to stop. I took two months off. So in this situation, I was not able to stop myself, because I felt all that sense of responsibility towards everyone. Which your listeners understand that they get it. They're out on the Great Commission. They know that every conversation could be a matter of life and death for someone, of freedom, or bonds, you know, prison bonds. And so I, they get it, the reality is we're partnering with God, and He knows that we are finite. He knows we're gonna have these Elijah moments where we just have to sit underneath the broom tree and eat and sleep because the journey is just too long.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: And what you just said was really powerful Cheryl, that concept of stopping, because I think that for most people, especially in ministry, you hear stop and it's like I can't stop and I shouldn't just say in ministry, it's probably for people in business, people anywhere, like what is, I can't stop.
And you had people in your life who told you to stop. Number one, you listened to them. Number two, you had them. So I'm thinking of our missionary listeners and going, okay, number one, do they have people in their life who could say, Stop? And what would that look like? And are they vulnerable enough with the people around them that people would even know they were at that point?
And then second, listeners, would you do it? Would you do it? I mean, I'm hearing that and going, That's a really tough question to ask yourself. What would you stop, and what would it look like? I mean, I'm imagining what our listeners might be thinking, what does stop mean? Cheryl, how do I stop if I'm a missionary? What do I stop?
Cheryl Scanlan: Yeah, let's talk about that because I'm gonna go back to that passage in Isaiah about inquietness and rest, right?
That word rest is to lie down. So let me start with something very practical. How many hours of sleep are you getting per night? Another practical question: Are you eating three meals a day? Another question, do you get any time where you can be either by yourself or with life-giving people? Either way, look at it from either side. And so those are looking at some of the practicals, if what we're doing causes us to stop tending to our temple. That's the time to stop. That's one way.
Let me show you another way. I'm literally in the middle of this right now. So I read through the Bible every single year. I have my own Bible reading plan. We've invited 416 people are read the Bible with me this way. And if you wanna know more about it, just look up the Bible Together friends on Facebook, and you'll find us there. But anyway. I'm getting through it this year, and this is all I'm doing is I'm getting through it. That's a warning sign. I've learned the signs.
So guess what? I'm not reading through the Bible next year. I'm not. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna take one book from each of the sections, like the major prophets, the minor prophets, the Torah, the epistles from Paul, to the individuals, to the churches, the gospels, and I'll include the Acts of the Apostles in there, and so on, so forth. But I will probably read maybe 11 books next year, and I'm gonna go deep. Now, why am I stopping at 20 years? For 20 years, I've been going through this thing. Why am I stopping? Because I'm going through the motions? Because God needs to meet me in a new way. That's why.
So am I gonna just keep doing this? Or can I just sit before you and wait for you to show me a new way? Is that new way gonna look like, Lord? Because the reality is, listener, you are continuing to be sanctified in Christand, and He's going to begin to work in you and through you in new ways.
And so if things start to become routine, oh, now you're starting to depend on a routine rather than depending on God. And it always this is one thing we can take to the bank. It always burns out when we lose our dependency upon God and we start depending on something other than Him. And I have to tell you in the flesh, that's exhausting. It's not predictable. I can't control it. It's not necessarily very comfortable. It leaves me with a lot of questions, but in my soul, it also makes me free. And if I could just indulge in a passage here that I just learned about this from a friend of mine, about a month ago, and I have been pondering and meditating on this for an entire month.
And now let me ask you something. What's more valuable to my relationship with the Lord and my dependency? Reading through a bunch of pages. Or really sitting with and letting the Lord go deep with me. There's a place for both. If we start thinking it has to be either or, I don't think it could be another place. So here we go. Psalm 68:3. “But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.”
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: The gladness and that joy.
Cheryl Scanlan: Yeah, though there are four different words used for joy. In that one little verse, four different expressions. And if you take them all together, it leads to this concept of delight. So I am dependent upon Him in the way He's inviting us into dependency, not this. Oh, I can't, I don't wanna do this. I resist it. It is a delight.
Now, let me ask you, who of your listeners would not like to experience sheer delight?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Okay, Cheryl, those are not two words you would normally put together. Delightful dependence. I think usually we think of dependence as like, I don't wanna be dependent, I wanna be independent, I wanna do this myself. Delightful dependence. I'm with you on that.
Yeah. Okay. Can we go back to what you were just sharing a second ago? You were beginning to bring up some red flags for you, of signs for you that you are not living dependent on God, that maybe you're living from the false self. The self, the independent self that needs to be super Cheryl. Because you're very high capacity and you can do many things and you're a master certified coach, and I mean, when all that starts rising.
So you mentioned that for you, it was not praying; it might be kind of routine reading. You mentioned with your community, the people who work with youyour irritable or snippy. What are some of your other personal red flags? I'm thinking for our listeners, what are some of your red flags that things are just off?
Cheryl Scanlan: I think beyond all of those little gnat kind of things, there's something deeper that's more insidious, that is, I begin to lose my identity as the person that I am with. I begin to you know, Paul talks about how to the Jew, he was a Jew to the Gentile, he became a gentile, all these things, but the reality was he wasn't; he was talking about his willingness not to impose who he had become on them, but to bring who he was to them. And I think sometimes, and I have to guess with missionaries and global workers, they feel this as well. And it's not just out there, it's right here. I'm with one culture. I start to become like that culture. I'm with executives. I start to, and all of a sudden, here's one of the warning signs: I'll hear myself saying something, and I'll be the dog on show. You don't believe that. Why'd you just say that? Or wait, you just gave a scent to something that you know doggone well, not where you stand with the Lord. What just happened there? Oh, starting to lose yourself to the identity of this group.
When that starts to happen, think about it. I know who I am in Christ. I know who I am. So there are three steps to this. I know who I am in Christ. This is big. Probably every global worker right now, name one thing you know, you're a child of God. You're adopted into the kingdom of heaven, right? You're a friend of Jesus. I mean, you can name them all, but let me ask you something. Who are you in Christ? That's a harder question. That's an ontological question. That's a meta formation type of right?
And so yes, in the context of community, we begin to learn and understand who we are. But the reality is, who I am transcends our community. It transcends culture, transcends the demands of other people placed on us. And if we don't become dependent upon Him and allow Him to begin to show us who we are. Cheryl, as I said, I'm a go-getter. I am high capacity. Yes, these things are true. I am impatient, that is true as well.
\What would we say about Paul? Stephanie, talk about Paul. What would be some words we use to describe Paul?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Oh my goodness. Similar words to you, Cheryl. I mean, yeah, determined, seems to be a bit of a perfectionist at times. Judgmental, you can kind of feel that coming through. Looking at his story, he is intense.
Cheryl Scanlan: Yes, yes. Very intense. And I definitely have that intensity. So let's think about this, right? Those things were true about Paul before he knew Christ and after he knew Christ. Let's take the perfectionism. Okay. Paul wasn't happy being the least of the apostles. You know, by the end of his life, he had to call himself the chief of sinners, so now he's gonna even perfect his position as a sinner. There you go, Paul. We got you covered there, right? And so Paul's who he is, how God has designed him.
You see it throughout the entire time he's in ministry. It doesn't matter what church he's in, it doesn't matter what region he's ministering to. It doesn't matter whether he's with kings or he's with poppers or he's in front of a girl who's got demon possession, who's annoying him while he is trying to preach the gospel on the street. Paul is still Paul; he doesn't lose that. Even when he's in prison, he doesn't lose who he is. And so one of the things I believe we need to do, even though this might feel selfish, listener, please listen to me. You must get to know who you are in Christ.
Because that's how your ministry is gonna flow through who you are in Christ. Stephanie's ministry flows through who she is in Christ. And if you don't take time to get away, if you don't have anyone speaking into you about who that person is, the good, the bad, the ugly, the all of it. Ooh, you get lost in the culture and in the people that you're trying to minister to. And to me, that is when burnout becomes the greatest because now you're over-identifying with the horizontal, and you're becoming more and more disconnected from the horizontal.
That's a dangerous place.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah. Cheryl, can you illustrate what that looks like for people who are going? How do I figure out who I am in Christ?, I would've said, I'm a child of God, I am a beloved. All the great true things. But, for a listener who's going, what does that look like? Like Cheryl, how are you able to express who you are in Christ in that personal way?
What would you say?
Cheryl Scanlan: I have found this to be a huge issue in Christendom. And so part of what we do in Promised Land Living is we take you through something called the Heartland Process, which Stephanie knows about. And out of that process, we name those qualities in you that are unique to you. You don't have to go through the Heartland Process for that to happen, although I will tell you it's a beautiful process. But you could start to ask people, just say, so if you were to name three qualities about me that you have experienced, the good, the bad, and the indifferent.
Because the reality is, let me just give you one on me. I love truth. Okay, I could also become like an ex-smoker with truth. Think about that. We need to know the truth. It's the truth that will set you free. Right? So God has had to build me up in the wisdom and the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, so that as I'm learning how to walk in truth and inviting others into that truth that I know sets us free. My timing, my pace, my tone, my approach, and the context of the other person come into view. So now I'm loving, I'm Agape, right? Instead of just being a truth teller. And so God took this quality time in me and is slowly transforming it in Christ, but it's still in me. It's still me.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: And you're right, every single characteristic that we have as individuals. I remember a mentor told me once, this was years ago, and I'd never heard the term, the shadow side. I've heard it many times since then, but she said that because I really wanted to be fully altruistic, and I was talking to her about that day, and she's like, You could never be purely altruistic. There's this shadow side to everything, as you just brought up with truth. It can either be used to beat someone over the head, or it can turn into something that can even be evil. It can be cruel, or it can be something that utterly sets people free.
So for our listeners, what are some of the ways God's made you? What are some of your personality characteristics, and what does it look like when you're walking in them from a place of freedom, from a place of rest? And what does it look like when you're walking in them on that shadow side when you're not so free? Walking a little bit more in that false self.
And Cheryl, what are some of the ways that you have really given those to the Lord and helped? Or learned how to walk in those from that place of freedom.
Cheryl Scanlan: This is a fun topic for me. So the first thing is that I view all feedback as a gift. All feedback I view as a gift. Mutual impact is happening, and so when I hear things, I'm able to take that to the Lord. It is different than taking it to heart. Right. It to heart, they're like, Ooh, that hurt. Now you're no longer safe. Well, that other person is just speaking from where they're coming from. What suddenly made them unsafe is now you, because your identity is so wrapped up in a certain view of yourself, right? And that view is being broken down a little bit. What's really not safe is this idol that you have set before yourself, or this persona. Maybe we won't use the word idol, that's a strong word. This persona that you have set up for yourself, that is now God, is trying to dismantle it, and you don't like it. You don't like it.
So for me, the first step in that is whatever fee, invite feedback, first of all. And the second is, look at all feedback as a gift and before the Lord, and let the Lord show you what the small kernel or maybe the big rock of truth is in what they're saying to you.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: You're right. There is something always in there that God can use and redeem.
Cheryl Scanlan: And the redeeming is a big part of it because the reality is, the word, when I went through my own Heartland journey, the word that kept coming up that I did not like was power. And the word got connected to truth, powerful truth. Well, Stephanie, I have to tell you, I like, I hit that I did not want that to be known, to be heard. And I was trying to go through a transition with the women's ministry where we were, we were co-ministers of a church of 5,000. And, one of the elder's wives, Debbie, loved her to pieces, had so much respect for her. She has since died from a glioblastoma, but she gave me such a gift. Said Cheryl, You are so powerful.
And Stephanie, oh, I cringed. I mean, I backed so far away from that conversation. I backed so far away from those words. Here's this woman that I respect. She uses this word power. But I got the courage to call her later, and I said, Hey, Debbie, you said that you felt like I was, you know, powerful, and was it in a good way or a bad way? And she said, Oh no, Cheryl, I meant it as a great compliment. I said, Okay. Well, could you explain more about what you're seeing? Because again, she's seen something in me that I've been hiding from myself, and I wanna talk about shame in just a second. And she said, so she shared some things with me, which I don't need to share here.
But in that moment, Stephanie, my relationship with myself was changing. It was now moving to that redemptive side of things? And here's what I want all of your listeners to hear: Idolatry, addiction, and the shame that I was feeling, all that comes before we get into any of those bad behaviors, comes from the garden. So as I began to understand the truth of who I was in Christ, I felt shame. It revealed that I was known. That's terrifying. It is terrifying to be known.
But let me ask you something. How in the world can we really minister to other people if we're not allowing ourselves to be known? My guess is my greatest ministry in this podcast and in the previous podcast is not of a quote, my accolades, not all the letters next to my name, but all my fumbles, all the times where I tried to catch the ball and I got tackled by something, all the times where I realized, man, I've missed the mark, the confessions about my red cape. The fact that I feel insecure about that word power.
This is who I am, and then I'm able to say, but God, but look what God does. Look at how He redeems training to take my delight in Him. And as I say, I take my delight in Him, I'm changing my relationship back to dependency, that word dependency. And now, I can get feedback from you. I can offer feedback to you. I can be a part of a community, and I don't succumb to the community because I've surrendered to Christ.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yes. Okay. I keep thinking. About what you just shared a minute ago, Cheryl, and the question that's going off in my heart for our listeners is, what are the parts of yourself that you're either hiding or denying that you don't like? So you're squashing it down and you're hiding it, or you just hate it and you try and ignore it.
I think it's so freeing what you just shared, even about power, especially talking as a woman. I think that there are characteristics in American culture; if we pick a culture where it is accepted or not for women to be powerful, it's not the greatest. Traditionally, people aren't really in love with powerful women or with men who are very tender and gentle and have huge hearts.
Sometimes those characteristics can just be like, What on earth? And we have missionaries serving in cultures all over. Maybe they had a characteristic in their home country that worked really well. They moved overseas, and all of a sudden, they're being shunned for it. So they're trying to hide it, or they don't know what to do with it.
So listeners. What are you hiding? What are you denying? And what could happen if you put that in the hands of the Lord and let Him show you how to live in it freely and lightly and in the light? Man, that one's hitting me.
Cheryl Scanlan: I'm praying for your readers, and two stories are coming up. One of our leaders, Shelly, and Shelly would not mind you all hearing her name, so please, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, but when Shelly went through Promised Land Living, she had a huge “aha” moment. She's like, I always thought dying to self meant that I had to shut down all of these qualities about myself. Oh, my heart was crushed. So, imagine all these years, Shelly has been trying to literally stop being herself instead of bringing herself under the restraint of the Holy Spirit. Wow. That's a lot of work. That is not the work of the Holy Spirit.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah, since there are a lot of people listening right now who are feeling words that you used earlier, fragmented, disintegrated. Like, there are these pieces of me that are warring against the other pieces. Trying to make this side of me shut up. And, it's just creating this internal war.
Cheryl Scanlan: Yes.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Who am I really? And in this survival place, God is calling us into a place of not being fragmented, of being whole, of being integrated. And what might that look like for you? Dear listener, what is He calling you into? The light that, oh, sounds so scary. You don't even know how to find it. Much less admit it. Cheryl. Where can somebody like that begin? What is their first step?
Cheryl Scanlan: Well, we have a very simple process. Anybody can walk through, and we do encourage you to walk through it with another person. It's called the seven-step shift. And it's a way where we shift out of this thing that's needling us, that's taunting us, that's what we know is not right, and we turn 180 degrees and we get over here and we're in the light and we experience greater freedom. And it's seven simple steps. And I would be happy to walk your readers through that right now if you would like.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Let's do it. I love that. I'll walk through it if that would be helpful, and they can see what that looks like while also asking themselves the questions.
What do you think?
Cheryl Scanlan: I think that's great. The one thing I'm gonna ask from all of you, since Stephanie is really entering into a space of vulnerability, she's giving you a real gift, is as we walk through each step, if you would first start to think about it for yourself. And then we'll hear from Stephanie, and then we'll give you a little extra space to kind of refine your own thoughts after you hear it.
But I want you to start thinking before we get into Stephanie's journey through the shift.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah, so please pause the questions after Cheryl asks them, answer them for yourself, and then come back.
Cheryl Scanlan: Okay, so we always start the shift with very simple and it's physical. Ask ourselves, what's going on in my body that just doesn't feel right? What are the physical manifestations that something is angsty for me?
Maybe you get sweaty palms. Your mind starts to race. Maybe your mind shuts down. You enter into a rage, you get heart palpitations, your chest or your back gets really tight. These are all things that we've heard. So take a moment and just ask yourself, physically, what is happening for you? And we'll pause and let you think about that.
And then I'll ask Stephanie the question.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Okay, so hopefully you've just paused and now you've come back. I will share mine. I would say for me, the symptoms are an aching heartbeat, a racing mind. And just a lot of tension, so a lot of holding my breath, clenching my hands, things like that; lifted shoulders.
Cheryl Scanlan: So notice, as Stephanie was describing these things, she wasn't saying, I feel anxious. I feel shut down. We wanna get underneath that. She was sharing: I have a racing heart, a racing mind, and clutching my hands. That's really what we want because we wanna get away from all labels on what's happening for your physical manifestations.
No labels, because labels already start to shut down the process. So great job, stuff. Pause for another second, maybe refine what you're saying, and then come back, and we'll go to the next step. Okay, so now the next step is to ask yourself, what are you telling yourself, when all this racing's going on and the clenching and the breath holding, what are you saying to yourself?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: I think there's too much to do; I can't get it all done. Am I enough? What would be some of the other thoughts? I've gotta stop, but I can't stop. Yeah, probably along those lines.
Cheryl Scanlan: Okay, so before I walk with her through those four statements, why don't you jot down what you are experiencing, what you're telling yourself, and come back? So Stephanie, of those things that you've said, you know, there's too much to do. I can't get it all done, or I can't stop. Which one of those seems the strongest in this moment?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Interesting. It's a version of one of them. It's that “I can't stop” that stood out to me. I think I'd refine that to “this is never going to stop,” I think.
Cheryl Scanlan: Oh, that's good. See how her having the space to sit with it and having what she said reflected to her without me attaching anything to it, she's telling herself: This is never going to stop. So that's kind of where she's sitting, and that's why she's racing. It's never gonna stop.
So maybe take a moment and refine what you are saying to yourself. And it's great if you can get it down to one sentence like Stephanie just did. So, pause as long as you need to try to get down to one sentence so that we don't have a lot of narrative around it.
Okay. So Stephanie, we're gonna go to this next step, which is to think about what the truth is. This is never gonna stop, and what would be some things that you might say to that statement?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Well, and I'll get a little real here for a second. So, for this, when I say this is never going to stop, that refers to just that feeling of anxiety. So I was diagnosed, probably about a decade ago, with generalized anxiety disorder, which made sense because I think I have felt that way ever since I was a little girl. And something I left before the Lord a lot, and there are seasons where it's stronger and there are seasons where it's less. And I would say it's been a particularly high season lately, and it's felt really discouraging. And so part of that lie is that it's just gonna be this way. This is just something you're gonna have to live with for the rest of your life and manage.
You know the truth. I was reading the story this morning of Jesus healing the servant of the Roman Centurion. Reading that with my daughter Madeline this morning, and it just was such a good reminder to me that no, it doesn't have to be this way. We serve a God that heals. And I understand that we don't always know how things turn out in life, and things don't always go the way that we want, but I don't believe I have to settle for this experience of constant levels of anxiety.
I don't, the truth of God's word is that Jesus is my healer, but the Holy Spirit is my comforter, my encourager, my guide. This is not a way that I have to live.
Cheryl Scanlan: What a gift Stephanie is giving to all of you. I'm sure there are people in the audience who can relate to this. So, one truth that Stephanie is bringing to the conversation is that God is a healer. Just because this is where you are now does not mean that's where you will be later on. May I bring another truth and see how it and this come back from my Lyme days? If I got past today and started looking at tomorrow, it made everything worse. So another truth is tomorrow's problems.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: I read that verse this morning, Cheryl. I have my Bible right next to me right now. See, this is where the Holy Spirit is so good. I literally read that this morning, don't worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today. I literally, Matthew 7:6.
Okay. That was just a really fun Holy Spirit moment. Hi, Jesus.
Cheryl Scanlan: I love it when He confirms. Wow. So just even notice Stephanie's countenance as we're starting this process, just notice what's already starting to happen to her. So, I would like you to sit for a minute. And think about what is true around what you are saying to yourself, that statement that you said in step two, what is some truth that may apply to that? So pause, take as much time as you need, and then come back.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: And that came right up for me in my spirit. And that is, there is grace for today.
Cheryl Scanlan: Y'all, Stephanie is really being real because she doesn't know where this is going. And look at what's already happening. This is her stepping into that dependency, and already we're starting to see it.
Alright, go to step four. So step four is to compare what you were telling yourself, “this will never end,” to the truth, which is that God is my healer. He knows what's gonna happen next, tomorrow's worries.
So those are the two things in front of Stephanie. Now she gets to decide, is there a lie I'm believing here? And if there is, do I wanna believe a lie or do I wanna walk into the truth? And this step four is the hinge of commitment. Am I going to commit to and live in what I'm telling myself? Or am I gonna commit and live into what God says is the truth?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Yeah. And for me, that's, I don't wanna live in a lie. I don't. I wanna absolutely believe that there is grace for today. Because there is.
Cheryl Scanlan: Wow. Stephanie wants to live in a place where there's grace for today, you see how all of that, that she was feeling, suddenly starts to get less complicated. And that is a decision. Her mind in this moment is being transformed by the renewing of her mind in this moment. Okay, so she is making a decision. Step four is a decision.
I'm gonna walk in what I'm feeling in my body, or I'm gonna walk in what I know? In truth, Stephanie is saying she's gonna walk in what she knows to be the truth. Take a moment and make your own declaration. Which one do you want? Make a comparison and then decide which one you want.
Okay, so Stephanie, we're back now. The next step, step five, is to declare the truth to yourself with new authority. Because you were over here right in the rumble tumble, but now you're over here. Is it the truth that you wanna declare to yourself?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: My grace is sufficient for you. There is grace for today. I am with you. I will not leave you., I got you.
That is what I'm sensing from the Lord right now. Yeah. Just get my eyes off of tomorrow and just get them on what's right in front of me because He is here in my tomorrow, but he's also here in my today, and I think I'm missing out on what's available to me in my today.
Cheryl Scanlan: Wow. Did you hear Stephanie speaking with that authority of the truth to herself? This is a soul that is becoming reintegrated in this moment. That's what's happening.
I'm tearing up. It's crazy, but I just love it when this happens for someone. So ahead and pause, and please do this out loud. Confess the truth with the authority you've chosen to go to this next step of walking to the truth to yourself out loud, and come back.
All right, step six, don't worry if you can't keep track of the steps. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about that. The next step is to simply ask the Lord quietly. So I'm gonna ask Stephanie to do this quietly in her heart. The Lord, what is the next step? This is sort of when we're in the mark type of gospel, immediately we take a step, immediately, we activate what He's telling us. Immediately, we step into the truth that we have just declared. So this is to galvanize the work that is happening in our mind, and we're asking our bodies now to cooperate with that truth.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, Romans 12, and offering up your bodies as living sacrifices wholly acceptable and pleasing to the Lord. So Stephanie, and y'all don't need to pause for this part if you don't want to. You can, but we're gonna take as long as it needs, and we're gonna be quiet, and we're gonna give Stephanie a chance to think about what the Lord might be showing to her as a next step, and you pray this quietly to yourself.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: . Okay. For me, I'm not sure if it's a clear action step. I'm still sorting through, I think, what it means, but think about a couple of weeks ago, I was just going through a hard season wanting to fix everything and do things outside of what the Lord had given me. Then I wrote on this post-it note and I said, Let me do it.
And so I keep that in my office, and I actually made it my screensaver for a little bit, which I haven't changed my screensaver in a really long time, but it just says, “let me do it.” And I think God knows I'm such a doer. I just always wanna do things. And that, actually, I think, is what the problem is, I'm always trying to find solutions, research.
I think his task for me in this season is to stop, kind of referencing back to where you started earlier. Like, I'm doing something, and God is saying, I need you to let me do it. And every time you jump in and try and get a solution in all these areas, you're missing what's here for you right now. So I just kept hearing stay.
My action step looks like inaction. But for me, the amount of effort that it will take it's a lot of action.
Cheryl Scanlan: It's fantastic. The word that you're using here is capps.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: I don't know that one. Tell me that word.
Cheryl Scanlan: It is where we decide to lie down and stop. And the purpose of the laying down and stopping is to make our abode in Him. That's the purpose of it, to make our body in Him. So nice work, Stephanie.
Then of course, the last step, and this is to take the step, so now I'm gonna ask Stephanie, what does it mean then to stop? This is gonna be like a moment, like when you start wanting to do something, when you wanna start doing research, does that mean you're going to? Close the window. What does a stop look like?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: I'm not sure yet. You know, when He first gave it to me a couple of weeks ago, I stopped for a couple of days and then felt like, oh, I did that. But I knew that I hadn't really, because I didn't take it off my screensaver in the post-it notice still here. I think it had to do with mentally stopping, like trying to guess what's next, or thinking about what's next, or researching what's next.
So, I think the mental piece is huge. And then, yeah, just that the physical piece. So, for me, just being very present where I'm at and doing what's in front of me instead of planning for what's ahead. And this is so many different areas of life for me right now.
Cheryl Scanlan: And that leads to that racing you were talking about. So that's the racing that you had mentioned. So maybe the stopping is when you become aware, because so much of it is awareness, right? When you become aware of the racing, you become a beholder. So you look at the sky or you sing that song, or you make a declaration, and so you literally cut that off.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: . Yeah. Okay. That's actually making me think of something that my counselor said to me that I loved, and He said, so even with the beholding, I think we can behold, as we did in the first step, what our body's doing. Behold the thoughts that we're thinking. I mean, there's a step in noticing and becoming aware.
And so I think from when my heart is racing or my thoughts are going, it's instead of entering into those thoughts, it's going, huh? He says to say, I'm noticing my thoughts are racing. I'm noticing my heart is racing. I'm noticing, I want to think about what's next.
And there's something about that that puts a little bit of distance to it, so it's not right in front of your eyes. And so, yeah, maybe that first step for me is using that language. I'm noticing what's going on now. I'm just gonna put that down so I can notice what else is going on around me with the Holy Spirit inside of me. Yeah, that's that. That resonates. Thank you.
Cheryl Scanlan: That's so good. It's like a next step in the noticing path because if you're noticing, you can very quickly go right back there. But if you're noticing and you have a way to move farther away from that beholder or being present to the day, or is grace that's sufficient for today?
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: And I think it's noticing what the Holy Spirit has to say about it in each moment, too. That's something I've really been pressing into that's been powerful, that I wanna do even more. Just that abiding like, okay, so Holy Spirit, this is going on now. I wanna notice what you got to say about that.
Cheryl, thank you for being my friend, my mentor, my coach. I am grateful for you and appreciate you coming on and being so vulnerable and so open with our missionary listeners today.
Cheryl Scanlan: Well, I'm tearing up, but I'm very grateful for your ministry, and I will say, Stephanie, your tireless ministry, and may His grace, which you know, be sufficient for ministering to you. And bless you, and may you experience His delight today, you and your listeners.
Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez: Thank you, Cheryl. Amen.
Well, that just happened thanks to all of you who also went through your own seven-step shift with me. And I'm so curious what it is that the Lord spoke to you. And I think what I'm left with after today's conversation with curiosity, with a lot of questions. And I hope these are questions that you wrestle with as well this week.
What might be the parts of you that you've been hiding or suppressing? That you dislike, that you're afraid of, that you could entrust to God. So He could put those in the light, help you show who He really made you to be in your own unique wayso He can shine his glory through you more fully to other people.
How can we become more integrated people living from that grounded place of identity in Christ, as we see in the scriptures, and also just a fuller awareness of who we are made to be? Are we living into that, and how can we live into that more? If you wanna find out more, man, join a Promised Land living group.
I mean, they've just been absolutely life-changing for me, and I don't say that lightly. If you wanna find out more, you can send an email to info@promisedlandliving.com, where they'll be able to connect you with a global group. You can also head on over to their website, where you can find out about all their groups.
They have ones for men, for women, and for couples. I also encourage you to pick up “The Way of Rest,” Cheryl's new book. It's outstanding, and we'll dig so much more even than what we talked about today. And I encourage you to share this episode with a friend who needs it, and make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes.
Also, you can always shoot us an email at care@modernday.org. Leave us a comment below, click like all the things. All I'm saying is we wanna see you back. We are so glad that you're a part of this community, and we'll see you soon.
