What If Your Missionary Vision Suddenly Changes? with Jonathan & Amanda Vining

You felt sure. God gave you a vision, you raised the funds, you moved overseas. But then things didn’t go as planned. The vision changed—or maybe you changed. In this episode, Jonathan and Amanda Vining share their powerful story of navigating unexpected shifts, how they learned to walk with God in uncertainty, and why vision isn’t a one-time download—it’s something you live, adapt, and grow into. 

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• What to do when your vision shifts unexpectedly
• How to tell the difference between passion and calling
• Ways to communicate change with supporters
• Why small steps of obedience lead to breakthrough
• How to move forward when you're unsure what's next

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Chapters

• 0:55 Meet Jonathan and Amanda Vining
• 1:21 The Journey of Vision and Passion
• 2:36 Navigating Changes and Challenges
• 3:24 Balancing Passion and Practicality
• 5:19 The Role of Humility and Obedience
• 13:16 Communicating Vision and Changes
• 20:25 The Importance of Support and Transparency
• 27:13 The Importance of Communication in Missionary Work
• 28:29 Balancing Transparency and Privacy
• 30:11 Vision Casting and Support Raising
• 32:09 The Journey to Acquiring Property
• 34:01 Divine Confirmation and Provision
• 41:02 Encouragement for Missionaries in Waiting
• 45:14 Inviting Missionaries to Harvest House
• 46:41 Conclusion and Invitation

Transcript

Jonathan & Amanda Vining 

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Hey Jonathan and Amanda, welcome to the podcast. It's so good to have you guys back.

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Thank you, Stephanie. Yeah, thanks for having us. We love getting a chance to talk to you and share our story a little bit.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 And you guys are Modern Day missionaries. So you're speaking to us straight from the mission field. This is real, this is raw, this is uncut. This is Jonathan and Amanda.

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 This is us. 

Stephanie Gutierrez
Okay, and we're talking on this subject that can feel kind of big and heavy—vision, and walking it out, and discerning it. And I love that we're talking about it with you guys, because you are some of the most down-to-earth, practical, sometimes a little wild people I know. And so I feel like you're going to help make this topic that's really big, really real.

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Yeah, when we speak about this, it's just from experience. It's from what the Lord has revealed to us, what we've walked through. So it's a little bit of just, hey, our life, our story, and this is how it worked for us. And this is what we've seen the Lord do. And I think that's the easiest way we can explain this topic of vision.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yeah. And you guys have been through multiple iterations of this. And you've been in the field—how many years now?

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Nine. Yeah, we've been missionaries pretty much for nine years—full-time missionaries for nine years. Praise the Lord. Seven years in Medellín and a year in Lima, Peru.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yes! And so moving multiple places and then just the amount of time that you've had serving, it's not like you got one vision, God gave you one vision, and then you went on the field and you walked out that vision. That's not really what life looks like, right?

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Not at all. It's kind of how it started, right? It's like, okay, we have a vision to do this—let's go. And then you start to fill this vision with your ideas of what it is and what your expectations are. And that’s not the best way to go after it usually.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 But that's such a good point. I mean, God gives us all initially a vision to get us there, to take that first step. And then it's so interesting how things change and they have different iterations. And sometimes as a missionary, you live in different places like you guys.

I just want to ask you guys: missionaries are always so full of passion. You don't go on the field unless you've got some passion or some drive behind you. But sometimes they're not always very clear on their vision. Why do you think that is?

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Yeah, I think the passion—for example, for us—God gave us the passion in missions. He gave us the passion to reach the lost. But the vision didn't seem important. The passion to reach the lost felt like the most important thing. And then you start going through the process, through the movements, and the passion overwhelms the vision.

And the vision sometimes isn't even there because it's not even talked about. It's just like, "You're going to go do this job." But just like a job—is that the vision of what God really wants for you?

For us, God called us to Peru. That was the vision. So we spent a year raising support. We did all the things. We met with all the people. We went to language school. We went to missionary training. We got to Peru, and it just kind of fizzled out. The ministry we were supposed to do was in a financial crisis. About two, three months in, we were told, "By the way, what you came to do, you can’t do anymore."

So then all this time we had worked and prayed and cried over this position... and we were like, God, what are you doing?

A lot of what happened—the Lord did bring us there for a reason. But we let our passion kind of trick our minds into thinking, "We're going to be here for the rest of our lives. This is going to be great—one place, this and that." And then the bottom kind of drops out. So you're like, okay...

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 You take a step back. What happened?

But it was a place where the Lord had to bring us to really develop our character, to teach us things, to learn who He is, to learn what He wanted us to do—and to realize that we can't just be driven by passion. Passion is important, but what should really drive us is our relationship with God and what He wants us to do.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yeah, and that’s something that's going to stay consistent. Because your vision—that’s going to change. There’s something that got you there, but there’s this concept our pastor used to talk about called "commander’s intent." It’s a military term.

Basically, you put a plan together, but the commander’s intent is more than just the plan—it’s the heart behind the plan. Because once you get on the battlefield, you have to know that heart, because the plan won’t survive. You encounter unexpected crises. How do we keep these visions from becoming big, lofty dreams that never make it into the practical and doable?

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Yeah, that's a good question. I think when the Lord gives you a vision, a lot of times it's going to be big. It's going to make you a little nervous. But keeping it practical is about the day-to-day. Like, “What does it look like today for me to do what the Lord wants me to do?” Or, “What does it look like to take a step of faith today?” Or even, “Where is the fruit?”

That’s a good question too—where’s the fruit? Is this fruitful? Is this working?

We’ll probably get into more of that today, but that’s a big part of it. Looking at the vision and then asking, “How do we stay on track?” or “How do we interpret what’s going on?”

Amanda Vining
 Yeah. The Lord called us to this really big vision to open this home here in Colombia for missionaries and pastors to rest. And it felt lofty—almost impossible. So we started making it more practical.

“If we were to buy a home, what would that look like?”
 “Can we find a realtor?”
 “Can we get a visa for investment?”
 “How much do we need to spend?”
 “How many bedrooms?”

There are so many small pieces. We had to break it into small, daily steps. Because when the vision’s just out there floating, it feels impossible. But once you start walking, the little steps make it real. And eventually, you look back and say, “Whoa, how did that happen?”

But it takes work on our part to walk it out.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yeah. That's so good. It reminds me of the story of Nehemiah when God gives him this big vision to rebuild the wall. But if you read through it, there’s a million steps that happen. He goes to the king. He asks for letters. He scouts it out at night. He has to gather people. He has to organize people. Then he has to deal with opposition.

It's not just, “God gave me the vision, and boom—the wall was up.” It's these daily things. I love what you said, Amanda. Break it down. What is the first step? What's the next step?

That makes it so practical. I think that’s the part where people get overwhelmed—when it's just vision floating in the clouds.

Amanda Vining
 Yeah, and I think a lot of missionaries feel like if they don’t have the full picture, they can’t start. But I would say: start anyway. If you feel like God is calling you to do something, start walking in that direction. Ask questions. Talk to people who’ve done it. Look up what it costs. Make a budget. Start somewhere.

Even if it changes, you’re showing God that you’re willing to take steps.

Jonathan Vining
 We always say it’s easier to steer a moving car. If you’re sitting still, it’s really hard to figure out where to go. But if you’re moving, God can guide you. You’ll hit bumps, you’ll make adjustments, but at least you’re not frozen.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yes! I feel like someone needed to hear that. It's okay to take a step even if you don’t see the whole staircase. That’s faith. And it’s also the only way things actually get done.

I want to go back to something you said earlier—about fruit. That’s something we don’t always talk about in connection to vision. Can you say more about that?

Jonathan Vining
 Yeah. We’ve been in places where we were doing good things—things that felt godly—but we weren’t seeing fruit. And we had to step back and ask, “Is this what we’re supposed to be doing?” Because if the Lord is in it, there will be fruit. It might be slow fruit, but it’ll be there.

So part of discerning your vision is watching for the fruit. Not just numbers or crowds, but changed lives, peace, favor, open doors.

Amanda Vining
 Yeah, and sometimes the fruit is in your own heart. You’re growing. You’re becoming more patient. You’re learning to trust. That’s fruit, too. Even if no one else sees it yet.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 That’s so encouraging. Because sometimes we judge fruit by visible results, but God is doing a work in us in the process. And that’s part of the vision too—He’s forming us.

Okay, last question. Let’s talk about disappointment. What do you do when the vision you had doesn’t happen? Or it takes way longer than you thought? How do you keep going?

Jonathan Vining
 Great question. First of all, we’ve been there—so many times. For us, it’s been huge to take that disappointment to God and not try to hide it. Tell Him how you feel. Cry if you need to. Be honest.

Then, ask Him to show you where He was in it. Because usually, even when things don’t go as planned, He was doing something.

Amanda Vining
 And sometimes the vision needs to die for a season. That doesn’t mean it’s over. It just means God is working in the soil. He’s preparing something. That’s happened to us more than once.

We’ve had to lay it down, walk away, and trust that if it’s really from Him, He’ll bring it back in the right time.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 That’s so beautiful. Thank you both for being so honest and real today. I think this conversation is going to set a lot of missionaries free to dream again—but also to take the next step. You guys are the real deal.

Jonathan and Amanda Vining
 Thank you. We love you, Steph. Thanks for having us.

************************

Janine Davis

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Janine, it is so good to have you back with us on the podcast.

Janine Davis
 Thank you so much, Stephanie.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 We always have such a good time and we're always talking about conflict and spicy subjects. And I love it. I love it because we were just talking about this beforehand. You have this really fun side to you and you're this peacemaker. And we talk about really controversial or difficult things. And that combination I think is powerful. And it's probably one of the reasons I just enjoy you so much and why I think you're called to do what you do, Janine. That's just my opinion.

Janine Davis
 Thank you so much. Yeah, I really do just want to have fun. And I don't know if this is a useful reference, it's pretty old, but there used to be a show on TV called The Biggest Loser. It was a bunch of fitness coaches helping people rapidly lose weight, maybe in an unhealthy way. But there was one coach on there, Jillian Michaels, who really yelled in everybody's face. And I was like, man, that's the one I would want, because I don't want anyone to put up with my nonsense.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yeah.

Janine Davis
 And I want to be like the gentle Bob, you know, kind and patient. But I think what I need for myself is the Jillian—hardcore, let's go, go, go kind of person. And that’s a little bit of the theme of what we're going to talk about today.

We're complex. Nobody's just one thing. And sometimes there are different versions of us. The version of me that wants the hard, don't put up with any excuses kind of coach for myself, versus the type of gentle, patient person I want to be for others. And sometimes that version can accidentally slip out in the wrong direction, so I have to watch that.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Right? Well, and yeah, like you said, you just alluded to that. We're talking about spicy stuff again today. And it's stuff that I think is applicable. We don’t try to be spicy for the sake of being spicy. We talk about challenging things because we want to help missionaries. So for all of you missionaries who are listening, we are going to go into some of these silent battles that you face: confession, control, shame, some of those kinds of things and the courage to be known, why it's hard to find safe spaces, and how we can be those safe spaces for others.

So Janine, I just want to kick it off: what are some of the struggles missionaries carry that don't fit into the normal Christian box? Like the kinds of things we feel like we're not even allowed to mention here—but we're going to mention them.

Janine Davis
 Okay, well then that's a fun way to start off. We'll definitely start with sex and sexuality. It’s going to be all the things that you might have learned from a young age are not polite public topics for conversation. These are the things.

And the challenge is: have we ever learned to talk about these things? Maybe no. Maybe all we've ever learned is don't ever talk about it. We carry so much into our mature adult Christian lives that are really just the childhood version of things that never got revised. So there are areas of our lives that stay immature.

Of course, I think of that as it relates back to the conflict space. We have a very childlike framework for understanding forgiveness a lot of times. Thinking apologies are something that can be mandated by my mom, and so can also be mandated by HR. We just carry these ideas forward and they’re childish. They’re not matured into a deep relationship that starts with the Lord and then flows out toward others.

And in these topics as well, we live with big pockets of our lives that are not allowed to be said—the things that must not be named, the unmentionable things. And a lot of it is because we've never learned how to talk about those things, and it feels very high risk. And we've seen it cost people when these things are exposed.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yeah, I think every missionary knows a story of somebody who was finally brave enough to bring something to the light and they got pulled from the field. Or they didn’t, and then it completely imploded and blew up their ministry.

And I want to just say too, we’re not talking about this stuff to be gratuitous, like, “Ooh, we’re wild on this podcast.” No. We're talking about this because it needs to be talked about. Because otherwise missionaries are being yanked from the field too soon—or they're imploding out of fear of speaking about it.

Okay, so you mentioned one—sexuality. What are some of the topics in sexuality that we feel like we're not allowed to talk about as missionaries?

Janine Davis
 Well, anything that you can think of that would make you blush is on the list. Any words, any topics—we all know them. The challenge is that we're going to need to move the line, particularly because it is undeniable that exposure to pornography is happening across the board at pre-adolescent stages.

That has a long-term effect on people as they grow, as they move through puberty and adolescence into adulthood when they have been influenced by high-speed, rapid access to things like pornography or, commonly for women, erotica.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 And explain what erotica is if somebody might not know.

Janine Davis
 We might just differentiate that between visual stimulation for pornography and more of a storyline—space for filling in the gaps and inserting yourself into the main character of the story. Erotica is more story-driven than visual in terms of what’s prompting the response.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Which could be like a romance novel or it could be an erotic television show where there's a lot of romance and sex going on.

Janine Davis
 I didn’t think I was going to talk about this, but here's a real example from the field. I don’t know how many people understand the concept of a guest house. There are places around the world where, if you're on the field, you have access to guest housing—maybe run by an organization—where you can stay, for example when coming for medical visits.

Okay, so guest houses. They’re often stocked with books by missionaries, for missionaries. I remember at an annual meeting once, the women were separated from the men. And that generally has the tone of: the men have things they're supposed to talk about, so the women should just talk about something too. But we don’t really have the same agenda.

So the women are chit-chatting and I bring up the topic of shame and what it is to live with a secret shame and how that can isolate us. And somehow, what comes up is the content of the books in the guest houses.

Back in the day, when there were Christian bookstores, there were authors whose entire careers were Christian romance novels. What became apparent that day—honestly, it almost turned into a book burning—was that for many women, the Christian romance novels were functioning in the same way pornography functions for men. They stirred the heart, created this fantasy of a romance, and produced the same effect we were talking about.

Some women said, “We need to get these out of the guest houses.”

And again, I’m not trying to put a template on anyone that says: where I feel conviction, the whole world must accommodate me. I wasn’t saying, “Burn all the Karen Kingsbury books,” or anything like that. But I was pointing out that even Christian romance novels can serve as a form of erotica for some.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Interesting. I’m totally intrigued, because when I said romance novels initially, I was thinking of the ones with big sex scenes in them. But you’re mentioning even just Christian romance novels. That’s an interesting thought.

To me, that really makes me think about how temptation is so specific to each person. It’s not black and white. Something that may seem innocent to someone else can stir something in you.

So this is a good opportunity for all of us to ask: “What actually is a temptation for me? What’s dragging me down? And how can I not impose that on somebody else, but still be honest with myself?”

Janine Davis
 Yes, exactly. An area of shame can be this sense that Christians—“good Christians”—should be immune to certain things. So in this setting, shame would sound like: “If all the other Christians can read Christian romance novels and just praise Jesus for how that rugged, handsome man came to the Lord halfway through the story… then what’s wrong with me, that I feel arousal here?”

And so there’s this added feeling of: “Something must be bad or wrong with me. I could never confess this, because it must be perverted.” And here’s the deal: you're not the only one. You're not the only person who has had that experience. You're not the only one who's thought, “This is doing something to me, and I don't think it’s good.” But because we don't talk about it, we assume we’re the only ones.

And that’s what shame does—it isolates. It convinces us that we are uniquely broken, uniquely messed up, and that we’d be rejected if anyone knew. So we keep it in the dark, and it grows. It becomes this unspoken burden that we carry.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yes. And I think it’s especially dangerous for missionaries, because you’re already living in a context where you’re supposed to be “the example.” People are looking to you as the spiritual one, the leader. You’re raising support. You’ve sacrificed to be there.

So when you start wrestling with something that you’ve been told “shouldn’t” be a struggle, it’s not just shame—it’s fear. “If I admit this, will I lose my supporters? Will I be pulled off the field? Will people say I’m unfit for ministry?”

Janine Davis
 Exactly. The cost feels so high. So high that it doesn't feel worth it to even bring it up. And then you carry it silently, and it becomes heavier. And now, instead of just struggling with temptation, you’re also struggling with isolation, anxiety, and self-hatred.

I want to say clearly to anyone listening: the Gospel is for all of your story. There is not a part of your life that Jesus doesn’t want to redeem. But we have to invite Him into it. And part of that invitation is vulnerability—confession.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yes. And confession doesn’t mean announcing your struggles to everyone on your newsletter. It means finding one or two safe people who can handle the weight of your heart—and reminding yourself that you’re not disqualified because you’re human.

Janine Davis
 That’s right. We need to build cultures where confession is normal. Where people don’t flinch when someone says, “I’m struggling with this.” Where we respond with compassion, not shock.

Because the truth is, we’re all dealing with something. And if you’ve made it to the mission field, you didn’t get there by being perfect. You got there by saying “yes” to Jesus. And that yes includes the hard, messy parts.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 I love that. So practically—because we always try to be practical here—what would you say to the missionary listening who is in the thick of this right now? Maybe they’re secretly struggling with pornography. Or maybe they feel emotionally numb. Or maybe they’re exhausted from pretending to be okay. What’s one step they could take today?

Janine Davis
 One step: bring it to the light. Not to everyone. Just someone. One trusted, godly, safe person. A friend, a mentor, a counselor. Say the thing you’ve been too afraid to say.

And then—this is important—pay attention to what happens next. Because I think a lot of people are surprised by how much relief comes from just naming it. The darkness loses power when we speak truth in love.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Yes. And if you’re the person on the receiving end of that confession, please listen with gentleness. Please don’t respond with spiritual clichés or panic. Respond like Jesus would—with grace and truth. Help them find hope again.

Janine Davis
 Yes. And also—this is big—don’t make yourself the savior. You can walk with someone, but you can’t heal them. Point them to Jesus. Encourage professional help if needed. And keep being a safe place, not a fixer.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 That’s good. And I’ll add: if you don’t have anyone in your life who feels like a safe person for this kind of honesty, then it’s time to start building that kind of community. That may mean taking a risk. But it’s worth it.

Because we’re not meant to carry these things alone. And we’re certainly not meant to pretend we’re okay when we’re not. That’s not strength—that’s survival.

Janine Davis
 That’s so true. And just to circle back—this applies not just to sexuality or temptation, but also to grief, doubt, resentment, burnout. All the things we think disqualify us from ministry… those are the very things Jesus wants to walk with us through.

Stephanie Gutierrez
 Wow. This has been so rich. Janine, thank you again for speaking so honestly and with so much compassion. I know this conversation is going to give someone the courage to take a step toward freedom today.

Janine Davis
 Thank you, Stephanie. Always a joy to be here.