Modern Day Missionaries

S07E13 What No One Tells Missionaries About Giving Birth Abroad with Chandler Gilow

• Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez • Season 7 • Episode 13

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What if one of the biggest ministry transitions isn’t a move to a new country, but welcoming a baby into your family—far from home? How do you navigate prenatal care, birth plans, and cultural expectations in a foreign medical system? 

In this episode, Chandler Gilow, founder of The Global Birth Coach, shares insights from her own overseas birth experience and equips missionary families with the wisdom, resources, and community they need for this season. 

Whether you're an expecting parent, a teammate, or a supporter back home, this conversation will change the way you think about birth on the mission field.

Thanks for listening! Email us your questions at care@modernday.org

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[00:00:00] Stephanie Gutierrez: Welcome to this episode of the Modern Day Missionaries podcast. As if giving birth is not hard enough in your home country where you were born, try giving birth overseas. And that's what we're talking about today: Giving birth to babies overseas. What does that process look like? What are the complications that arise and what are ways to navigate it successfully?

And we're not just talking to expecting mothers, we're also talking to dads. We're talking to the people and families who support them there on the field and the people who support them back in their passport country. We're talking with Chandler Gilow who is a registered nurse, a certified lactation specialist, and the founder of the Global Birth Coach.

Chandler has been a global worker for many years and she's given birth overseas. When she navigated through that experience, she realized there really was a space, a void for this kind of support. So she began the Global Birth Coach in 2020 to provide resources, community, and support for global workers during that perinatal season, that whole process up to giving birth, and giving birth, and afterwards. She is now serving in East Africa. 

Chandler's passionate about serving these families and helping organizations create stronger support structures for those in the field. So Chandler goes through so many of the common questions that many of you listening might have today. So whether you are a family who's expecting a baby or somebody who is supporting a global worker who's going to have a baby, we've got lots of practical advice and great insight. So with that, let's dive into today's interview with Chandler Gilow.

Hey Chandler, thanks so much for joining us on this episode today.

[00:01:43] Chandler Gilow: Hey Stephanie, thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here. 

[00:01:47] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yes, I had heard about you from a great friend who I think had Amy Young from Global Trellis, who had been working with you on some articles and got to read some of your resources. And I mean, you're a nurse, a lactation specialist, and you've given birth abroad personally, and now you help other families who choose to give birth abroad. What an awesome calling.

[00:02:10] Chandler Gilow: Yeah. It is and the Lord's been really sweet to give me experience and passion in an area that now I love so much. 

[00:02:21] Stephanie Gutierrez: So when you've spoken with expats and missionaries, what have been some of their reasons for giving birth abroad? I mean, you've done this, like, why did you choose this route? 

[00:02:31] Chandler Gilow: When I think through my own story and the stories of a majority of the people that I work with, it's coming down to two things: Either primarily like financially or a combination of financial reasons or wanting to stay in their place of service and close to their people group that they're working with. When you just think about the time and resources it takes to get on a plane, go back to your passport country, have the baby, recover, and then that long time in your passport country it takes to get a passport for the baby and all the documents. That's a lot of time and resources, which for some people, is totally worth it and it's what they need. But I've seen just a lot of people who just find it easier financially to stay where they are. It has adequate medical care and it keeps them within their context, which is a big plus for a lot of people. 

[00:03:30] Stephanie Gutierrez: Well, I've had friends who gave birth abroad when we were living overseas and I remember what a big deal it was and I still have some friends living over there who've done it. And I've known people who've, you know, been from the States and given birth overseas in a different country. I've also had a friend from Argentina who gave birth in Peru and a friend from Peru who gave birth in Mexico.

So no matter where you're from, it just changes up the context when you're in a different country. And I know when you and I were planning this out, this is such an applicable topic. It can seem so niche for somebody who's listening, but I think there are so many people who are giving birth. So it applies to moms and dads who are in the process of giving birth and we're going to talk to moms and dads. We also are going to talk to team members. Maybe you have somebody on your team who's giving birth and you want to know how to support them. And then you've got people back in their passport country, their family and friends back home or supporting churches or organizations and they wonder, “How can I be there for this family as they're giving birth overseas?” So we're going to talk to each one of those populations. So this is applicable for everybody. 

And Chandler, what were some of the challenges and surprises that you faced personally when you began to give birth overseas? And maybe how have you seen that in some of the other families you've worked with?

[00:04:48] Chandler Gilow: Yeah, I think for me, the biggest challenge was just the mental load and the energy and time that it took to accomplish the birth abroad. I wanted to gather all the right information and resources, how to find a doctor, how to make decisions. It took me almost my whole pregnancy of a lot of work, a lot of networking and conversations. And I just remember thinking after the birth, “Wow, as a person who considers themself a birth nerd and a nurse who had a medical background, like that was kind of tough for me. Now, what about all the families who don't have that background or that natural inclination to nerd out over these things? Like how much harder would it be?” And so it was actually that challenge and surprise that kind of fueled the ideas for what Global Birth Coach has become and kind of where I want to go in the future. 

[00:05:52] Stephanie Gutierrez: Well, yeah, you think about all the preparation you have to do if you're giving birth, even in just your passport country where you were born. I mean, the books that you buy, and the birth plans, and the questions to ask. Then you're applying that in a totally different cultural context. I mean, and there's things that you don't even know to ask.

Like, I remember learning, just from friends, watching them walk through it in Peru, where we served, it was so common to automatically schedule a caesarean, even for a first birth. It's just how the system is. And the default was to do Caesarean way more than vaginal birth. Well, how would you know, again, unless you know somebody or know what questions to ask?

I mean, it can feel so overwhelming, not even just for first time moms, that's a given no matter where you're at, but even for somebody who's having a second or a third child, because you're used to doing it a certain way. And then you add in some people who want to do midwives or doulas or all of the different customizations that you can do with birth.That's a lot. So, just getting practical, what are some practical steps missionary moms can take to prepare for childbirth in a different culture or healthcare system with rules they aren't even aware of?

[00:07:06] Chandler Gilow: Yes, so one of my biggest tips for a couple of years, I taught kind of an onboarding class for giving birth abroad and for onboarding for our organization. And one of the first tips that I gave them was, even if you don't anticipate getting pregnant anytime soon, incorporate learning about birth, birth culture, postpartum, learn about that, make that part of your cultural acquisition.

So when you are sitting with the women that are in your people group and you're just chatting up, trying to build relationships, ask these questions: What does it look like to give birth here? Ask them for their birth stories, because we take for granted how much information we have accumulated about our medical system, even if you've never given birth you kind of accumulate pieces of it as you grew up and you kind of know what to expect. And the same is for these women, they don't know how much information they have. And so just making it casual, starting early before you need the information, so that by the time you find out you're pregnant, you've already made all of these connections and heard these stories and heard these customs. So you kind of know what to expect from the medical system, but also from the culture.

A lot of cultures across the world have a lot of superstitions around pregnancy and postpartum are really really strong customs that they expect people to adhere to, and you'll hear these through the stories. So ask good questions. Be curious with them and don't be afraid to ask for details. So, starting early, asking questions is the first practice. 

The other thing is to get to a doctor early. I know, as in somebody who just relocated for the second time overseas is so low on the totem pole. Like you are trying to do everything else. Getting a doctor when you don't really have a need is not on the top of the list. But if you know that it could be in the realm of possibility that you could become pregnant, going ahead and getting in there, it lets you get a feel for the medical system, maybe interview someone before you need a doctor.

I don't like to talk about pregnancy loss a lot, because I know that's a really tough, tough topic, but I did want to bring in a little bit because so much of that happens very early on. And sometimes it's before your traditional first appointment would be, and especially for our expats and cross-cultural workers, I don't want you navigating that totally with no connection. I don't want you trying to find connections during that. So finding a doctor early on before you need one is really important. 

 And then the last big thing I wanted to hit on practically is get educated. So I don't have to start childbirth education before you're pregnant, but I do recommend it for cross cultural workers specifically because of just the craziness of our life and a lot of our cross cultural workers end up getting pregnant 3 years into being overseas. You're still transitioning a lot. You're still drinking from the fire hydrant of culture and language if you wait until the traditional third trimester to start that pregnancy class, you're not going to have the capacity to really like to let it sink in. So I recommend practically for cross-cultural workers to start a childbirth education early in the second trimester to give yourself time to slowly absorb information since you have so many other things competing for that brain space. 

[00:11:09] Stephanie Gutierrez: Okay. I love those. Meet other mamas, hear their stories, find a doctor, start the classes. Those are super practical and they're all really doable because moms love to tell their birth stories. I don't think I have yet to meet a mom who does not love to tell their birth story. And I think it's really valuable to get birth stories from people in the culture and from other expats, cross cultural workers, missionaries, who've had the experience too, because both will give you insights that you wouldn't necessarily have picked up on. Same thing with doctors. I remember when I was getting doctor recommendations, I liked to get them both from people from the country and then also from Americans, because you just get different perspectives and everybody's looking for something different.

But yes, I mean, the connections and the networking is where it all happens. And that's where, you know, I'm an introvert by nature and have, I would say I've blossomed since, you know, living overseas. But in the beginning, it was really tough for me to meet people and get to know people and spend time with them. And, you know, you feel overwhelmed and shy when you first get there sometimes, but making friends is critical because so much of those things happen in networking. I would have never found the doctors that I had I not made friends and asked those friends, moms of the school that my daughters were at, friends from church, neighbors.

I mean, and when you start to hear the same names popping up over and over again, or you'll hear, you know, hear horror stories, which are helpful to know not to go to that clinic. So all those things are good. Even where to take a class. And okay, so you offer classes online too, through Global Birth Coach, right? 

[00:12:58] Chandler Gilow: I do. That's also why I started, I was going to say as far as hearing stories, that's why I started the expat birth podcast as well, because while sometimes it's really helpful to hear birth stories from your specific context, get as many of those as you can. Sometimes it's just helpful to hear generally a cross cultural birth and you can learn so much from other people's experiences on what to anticipate and what not to by hearing what they encountered so, yeah, that's why I created that resource. But I also created the expat birth academy. So it's about 8 hours worth of content that I tried to make it as to cover as much as you could and I tried to nuance it for the expat birth academy experience or the cross cultural worker experience because I feel like that's really important as you're thinking through applying the knowledge that you're getting, but I will say, I also recommend that parents get the primary birth education in their heart language.

So, if English is your heart language, please come take the class, but I also recommend, if possible, that you also take some kind of birth class or something in the local context as well. Because in those classes, you'll pick up nuances of how they explain things or what they say is normal that you would have never. So I do recommend local classes. I think they're wonderful, but I don't think if it's not in your heart language, I don't think it should be your primary source of birth education because you're just not going to grasp enough, if that makes sense.

[00:14:42] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. Oh, that makes perfect sense. That's a great suggestion. So what are some other things that moms can do in leading up to it ways for them to prepare themselves? We've talked practically. What are some things they can do mentally, emotionally, spiritually to get ready for that uncertainty of giving birth in a new context?

[00:15:00] Chandler Gilow: It is so important and actually a topic that I'm really passionate about. One of the biggest things that I would love to see in our community is for moms to just intentionally make the time to prepare mentally and emotionally and spiritually. I think it's so easy to dismiss that part or to say, “Oh, like it's a luxury to be able to prepare in that way.” But I think it's pretty vital for the longevity of cross-cultural workers and resiliency for them to give themselves permission. So that's the other thing: Give yourself permission to prepare mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. And one of them, once you've given yourself time, one of the things I really encourage cross cultural moms to think through is really evaluate what your expectations are for birth, what your hopes are, what your dreams are, what you consider are needs for you. And this is going to be different for every person and why, based on your background. So really have a good grasp and be honest with yourself about what you need from your birth experience. and then. Once you process through that, that's when you really start connecting it with what is the reality of your birth context.

So, whether that's staying in your place of service, going to going back to your passport country, or going to a 3rd party country, because we have people who do that too, do those places meet? And are there places where maybe it's not congruent? And then try to move from there, once you compare those two, let those settle, just laying that before the Lord and trusting in Him to take care of you and to provide for your needs and to give you peace when maybe things don't fit as they should, or as you want them to.

[00:17:12] Stephanie Gutierrez: So good. And let's switch for just a second and talk about dads now, because I mean, they're having a baby too. They're partnering in on this. So we talk about dads, what kind of role can they play in supporting their wife through this journey? And how can they be an advocate for them in this space?

[00:17:36] Chandler Gilow: An advocate is my, like, biggest encouragement for dads. I think dads have a vital role to play in the whole perinatal period. So from conception, you know, all the way through to parenting, dads are important. But I think even more so for those giving birth cross culturally because I think it takes the extra brain space of that second person to be present, to know what's going on and to be able to advocate. 

So every context is vastly different all over the world, but generally you're going to need to be a stronger advocate when you're giving birth overseas and especially for moms who might be having a harder pregnancy or a harder birth or moms who are doing an unmedicated birth. So requiring a lot more mental energy to focus and yet to focus on the birth process, they're going to need people who can speak on their behalf. And so I really encourage all dads to take the childbirth education class. They should be just as educated as mom, and they should be on the same page about what's important to mom, what's important to them as a family, and they should be prepared and willing to speak up and advocate for or against things as needed. 

Also, just in context where you're speaking in another language in the middle of birth is not when your second language is going to come out very easily. You know, you have a few other things going on. And so having dad in the room who knows exactly what's going on, he knows what mom wants, he knows what they value, and he can do the translation work in his head on behalf of moms. I think it is huge. And postpartum I mean, dads play such a huge role. I know my husband handled all the postpartum paperwork for us handling the embassy and that's a huge load, mental load, and sometimes task load, and dads are like my heroes when it comes to that because they so often do that. So I think dads have such an important role and I think that's why it's so important that they are just as educated and just as invested.

[00:20:14] Stephanie Gutierrez: That's so good. And for dads who might have a more passive or don't like conflict personality because that's the reality. There are some who are just wired that.way. I mean, I think back to a context for me, I didn't give birth overseas. We had brought our daughters over when they were seven and eight, but I remember being in another medical context where I was in for an emergency one time.

In this context, my husband was out of town, so my mother in law came in, and she's a spicy little thing, so she advocated for me so well. And so it makes me think, if there's a husband who just recognizes, “In high conflict, I tend to shut down,” I mean, maybe bringing in somebody else who can be there with you so that your wife is not left, like without somebody to speak for them. Like, obviously lean into that, like that's your moment to be tough. But if you are nervous that you won't bring in a partner, I would say the same thing with language. Let's say that your language skills are still pretty rocky, or maybe, you know, sometimes I felt like I spoke great Spanish, but you get in the medical system and you're like, “What are these words? Like they are saying words I have not heard before.” Maybe bring in somebody who's a native speaker to be there with you. You could always find somebody who wants to help in that type of situation who's like, “I got it.” There's always the helper type. 

[00:22:47] Chandler Gilow: And I think that could be helpful for maybe a dad who's lacking in language skills or in some of that ability to enter into conflict. And that's totally okay. And the other huge aspect outside of advocacy is just physical support during labor. So I love to talk about that in my class and I have additional handouts to help dads because I think that's so important. Like they want to know how to help. I think so many want to be involved, but what do I do? Like this is a totally foreign land I'm entering, right? And so just giving them tools like they have a role to play and to physically and emotionally support their wives through this and they can be a vital part of a positive outcome for them.

[00:22:24] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. What are some of the things you've seen in terms of balancing ministry and giving birth? How much do you see moms and dads taking a bit of a break in that missionary context to allow themselves the space to give birth and recover from birth? Or do you think that's more of a struggle in the missionary? 

[00:22:47] Chandler Gilow: I do think it's a struggle. I even think it's a struggle on the front end as well. I see a lot of couples that kind of crash and burn into the end of the third trimester. And it's just like, I've even heard things like a mom say, “I'm just ready to have the baby so I can rest.” And that was a red flag for me, right?

Because I was like, “Oh no, this is not a cease and desist,” but that was a marker to me. Like, they have been pushing it too hard. And I think that's one of why I would love to encourage as a cross cultural worker culture, that we just really value this perinatal space and see it as needed to slow down and to evaluate and to prepare if you crash, if you work yourself, both of you, or just one of you more than the other, if you go into birth with an empty cup, that's gonna put you guys in a rough spot. And you're not gonna be able to pivot well if things don't go as planned. If postpartum is hard for any number of reasons, you're not gonna have the things within you to help get you through to make you resilient. And so building resiliency by filling up and slowing down and planning well during pregnancy will help so much in the postpartum. And I think if you give yourself permission to slow down in pregnancy and think through postpartum, well, you can think through what's necessary to kind of put up healthy boundaries or to communicate well to your national partners. 

I think one thing even in cultures where dads don't necessarily have an active role I think in all cultures, there's the sense of postpartum, there's a village, right? You need a village, whether it was an auntie coming in or the mother in law coming in. There's typically that aspect. And so being able to just have that conversation before with your national partners: “Hey, we don't have that village necessarily. And I need to be there to support my wife. What does that look like? And how can we plan accordingly?” So that I have a little more breathing room to be present and yeah, to be that village for her I think is so important. I think it can be so many in our group are, you know, just go getters, they work hard, they have a hard time slowing down and to just see the value, not just in this season, but the long term value that you can get for the health of your family if you are intentionally taking that time, I think would make a huge difference.

[00:25:50] Stephanie Gutierrez: I love the word you just said there, value, because I think sometimes in a ministry context, we value salvations, we value caring for others. And sometimes we can not value our own family in terms of like, "This is something we did this month as a missionary family.” You don't feel like it's a success to report that you had a baby. Which is kind of crazy, but life does not stop when you go overseas and so a baby is not meant to be a blip, it's something to be celebrated in any context. So it's really good that you pointed out the value. 

So leaning into that, let's look at teams. Now, if you are on a team where, you know, you're with a family who's about to have a baby, what are some of the ways that you can care for that family?

[00:26:42] Chandler Gilow: Great question. 1 of the biggest ways we were loved and I love to share with others is just, and one of the things I try to do through global birth coach is helping them share that mental load, that burden of gathering information. There was one couple who had been in our country for seven or eight years. She had had multiple babies. She was the one who gave me the names of doctors, gave me the name of a Facebook group for birth in my country; they even ended up letting us use their house. We had to change cities; we had to go to the capital and they let us use their house because they were on their furlough so that we could, you know, have a place to stay. They were just really intentional, like practical. So helping them gather information and network can be easy. Huge having initial conversations, making those initial connections and then kind of handing them a gift wrapped list of things. That can be huge thinking through just the needs of their family.

And in your context, like, what is the most practical way? Sometimes that's helping with older kids when they need to go to appointments, or when they go to the hospital. That could be making meals. But one of the things practically, that's not like a task to do, but I can make a huge difference is creating just a safe space for them to share their needs. Because every, every family unit is unique and what might be extremely helpful for one might not be that helpful for another. And so just say, “Hey, this is a unique season where we're living a unique life. If there's anything big or small that would just like, really take a load off of your plate, like, let me know.”

 The other thing that I really encourage teams to do, and depending on the dynamics of your organization, sometimes this includes leadership to acknowledge as well is that, you know, what will be important for every person in their birth is different. And I think sometimes there can be these cultures created of, “Well, this location was perfectly fine for a certain person to give birth, or I've given birth here, and it was fine for me.” And so there's maybe pressure applied to, it should be good enough for you to, or, you know, there can just be this unintentionally a culture created and just acknowledging that research shows us that the biggest indicator for birth trauma or like, postpartum trauma when they look back on their birth was all about how they felt in their birth. If they felt safe, if they felt heard, and so I was just listening to your podcast from October about trauma, two different people can experience the same thing, and one can be totally fine, and one can really be struggling. And so just holding that, acknowledging that, and encouraging people to do what's best for them, even if it looks different than what you would have done or you think is best just holding space for that and being encouraging is really important.

[00:30:15] Stephanie Gutierrez: That's so good. And I think we can sometimes too teams can look at a pregnancy almost as an inconvenience. Like it's holding us back from accomplishing our ministry goals or, “Oh, there's a baby around and the baby's always crying and the mom has to go take care of the baby.” And so it's beforehand and afterwards having grace for people with kids and not seeing them as these needy people who are taking us away from what we actually want to do.

This is a part of life and what a journey and a blessing that you get to journey and do that together. And it can probably feel frustrating sometimes. I mean, we don't want to pretend that those emotions aren't real. I'm sure it's frustrating for the mom and the dad too, you know, it's tough, but it is a part of life. 

And if you're together on a team, how can you work together and have some of those transparent conversations? You know, how can you be graceful in having those conversations? 

[00:31:12] Chandler Gilow: Exactly, and I think looking at the big picture, because I think so far so often we see this like an immediate ministry need or goal right in front of us. We need to push and accomplish this thing. But if we take a step back and if we acknowledge that this is a unique transformational season in the life of this family, and we can create space where they feel like they have permission to take time to process and prepare and learn, like they're going to be so much more healthy and so much more filled and so much more ready to hit the ground running once they kind of come up from the season. In the first year postpartum they're going to be so much more ready if we give that grace but also just acknowledging too, that children are a gift from the Lord and the Lord gave them that child and he will use that family unit as it has changed and really unique ways to bring him glory. And that child may give them access to places or people you know, ministry that they would have never had otherwise. 

And so, yes, it might look different than what you have going on right now, but it's a God ordained interruption, so to hold space for that and seek to encourage each other.

[00:32:50] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. What a great point because you're absolutely right. I mean, walking around with a baby, everybody wants to talk to you. So, I mean, what great opportunities to build community in your neighborhood, if you're going out with your baby or going to a new mom's group or who knows, but everybody wants to comment on a new baby. So yeah, God can use that even to help you impact people, so it's great to recognize that. And so then as we talk about this last group, what can churches, family and friends back home do to support these families? What do you wish they knew? What do you wish they were doing? 

[00:33:29] Chandler Gilow: In groups of supporters that do this well, I think one of the biggest things that I hear is the importance of people in the states acknowledging that there are nuances to cross cultural birth that they just won't be able to grasp. I think so many are trying to, I guess, empathize with birth and postpartum that they sometimes just don't get all these other hard things. So I think it's just important to acknowledge that birth and postpartum like that's universal; like, we all have a birth story and, you know, some of these things can be carried across cultures. But just acknowledge that there might be unique cards and maybe just leaning into that and being curious with these families about what those unique hard things are for them and holding space for that. But also, I think sometimes it's helpful for supporters and churches to verbalize, “Hey, we acknowledge that you're entering a season where things might slow down a bit. And that's good. That is good for your family. We want you to slow down. We want you to prepare yourselves. We want you to get the things that you need.” I think encouraging them to take a step back and evaluate, “Are we healthy? Are we at a burnout?” That's a good question. Pregnancy is a good time to do that. And then if not taking time to be filled back up before that birth comes. I think having that acknowledgement from supporters can be so validating for people and they won't hear that guilt in the back of their mind of, “Oh, I need to be doing these tasks that amount to some kind of ministry.” Yeah, ministry movements, but this is my ministry right now. It's investing in my family. So that. We can be resilient and serve longer and be healthier. So I think that's really great. 

Practically, some really cool things that I've heard from the way they've loved on cross cultural workers is having a baby shower. Sometimes the things they need are kind of expensive. Like, I know where we were, anything quality that was baby related was so much more expensive than sometimes even in America and so asking them about what their needs are and helping to provide for those, but also thinking through them. 

I guess one of the costs of having a birth overseas is that you will have a baby and sometimes you do not know when family members will be able to meet that baby. It may be when that baby is two years old, when grandparents or aunts and uncles meet that baby for the 1st time. I don't think that's something that people talk about a lot, but I think it's kind of a reality that hits you. And so one sweet thing that I saw church do is when a baby was like, six months old, they offered to pay for a family to come back for a short vacation so that they could share their baby with their family. And obviously that's a very large gesture, but just like thinking outside the box and and thinking, “How can we serve and support, and give them permission to do what they need to do and to love each other well. 

[00:37:26] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. And think creatively, like you were just saying, I mean, what a beautiful thing for a church to do. You know, I remember I had a friend who had children overseas and had twins actually. And there was a gal who did a non-traditional mission trip. Her mission trip was to come and stay and help take care of the babies for a week.

Now, obviously you have to make sure the missionary actually wants that. Sometimes you think that would be a blessing to them and it's actually not. But you know, something like that could be a non-traditional mission trip. Like, “Could I go down, could we go down in their sixth month of pregnancy, a couple friends and do a baby shower or our mission trip is to bring suitcases full of stuff off their wishlist.” Like a mission trip is about serving the community, but it can also be about serving the family. 

I remember there was a couple when we lived down in Peru, just some sweet friends and their mission trip every year was to come down for a week. And this is not baby related, but they were like, we want to be like your handyman helpers for a week and just fix all of the little things and do all the little things that you just don't have time or capacity or skill for. And so as a church, as a family, what could you do to be a blessing to them and get to know your missionary too? Because again, sometimes we think we're being a blessing and we're not. And everybody lives in a different context. But what could you do to care for this family? Because if you can keep a missionary family on the field, then they're able to do more ministry.

You know, maybe it's  a mom and she's had, you know, a baby for a few months and she's really an extrovert. Oh my gosh. She wants to get out and be with people and do ministry and she's itchy to get back out. And so maybe you're coming and you're watching the kids for a week while they go out and do ministry. I mean, there's so many things that we can do. And as you've mentioned multiple times throughout the podcast, it is unique for each person in each context. And so the more you get to know your missionary, the more you'll find out what will actually be a blessing to them. But yeah, there's so much that we can do.

And Chandler, there's so much that you already do. So I want to make sure that we acknowledge Global Birth Coach. Mention a few of the services and things that you have so that these families and moms and people who serve these families can know how they can receive from the great things you have.

[00:39:45] Chandler Gilow: Yeah, I appreciate that. So right now we have the virtual village Facebook group. So that was the 1st thing that I launched and it's basically just a community where we share resources. So, any resource I've ever been able to find, whether that's virtual or city specific is in that group. I keep a running list of crowd sourced information so anytime a mom messages me and says, “Hey, I had a great birth in, let's just say, you know, Cairo, Egypt, and this was my doctor.” So I try to keep track of all of those things. So people have a starting point and it's just a great community to be in. So there's that community. I have the expat birth podcast which has, I think, roughly thirty birth stories on it right now and a few specialty subjects. I just wanted to create a space where moms could come in and binge listen to a bunch of birth stories and hear different contexts and help them prepare. 

And then there's the website. So on the website the globalbirthcoach.com, we have the Expat Birth Academy, which has the Expat Birth Coach Class which again is eight hours worth of content, helping you prepare and learn all the different aspects of birth. There's also an infant feeding course. 

And the last two kinds of big things I have are two digital downloads. One is preparing for birth. It's kind of like helping you make sure you're at a healthy place before you give birth, and helping you process through all the things. But it also is helping you prepare, as in plan, what questions to ask your doctor, what questions to ask a hospital, all of those things. So it's very long, but practical for multiple things. 

And then the last section of my website is specifically for those navigating perinatal loss overseas. So it's, unfortunately, very common that one in four pregnancies can end in miscarriage. And so I think that's a really important topic to touch on. So just in October, we released a perinatal loss debrief. So it's kind of a debrief packet with a bunch of different exercises where they can just print it off and go through it and use it however they want to help them navigate their grief journey. We also have a small community on Facebook as well, a private group for those navigating that journey just to help them find resources and community.

[00:42:23] Stephanie Gutierrez: Oh, that's so good. This was so practical today. I feel like everybody who listens has multiple takeaways. And then if they want to learn more, you've given them all these places they can go to next. So I just want to say thank you Chandler for the way that you serve expats, missionaries, and cross-cultural workers. This is such a niche and specific topic and so needed. So we really appreciate you coming on today.

[00:42:51] Chandler Gilow: Thanks so much. It's been a joy to be on here and to talk about something that's so special to me. Thanks for the opportunity.

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People on this episode

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Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez

Host
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Luke Eubank

Producer