Modern Day Missionaries

S06E12 Unexpected Joy from Unexpected Challenges with Vonna Laue

• Vonna Laue • Season 6 • Episode 12

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Have you ever looked back on a really hard season on the field, a huge thing God asked you to do, or a big unexpected change and thought, Wow, I’m SO glad I didn’t know that was coming? Because I would have run for the hills!

In this episode, we sit down with Vonna Laue, author of the upcoming book Glad I Didn’t Know, to discuss life’s unexpected twists and turns in the world of missions. Vonna shares her journey, from unplanned moves and family challenges to the unique pressures and joys that missionaries face when God’s plans unfold in surprising ways.

She offers wisdom and concrete ways to live fully in the moment while trusting God with what’s to come. Whether you’re on the field or supporting others who are, this conversation will remind you of the resilience and hope that carries us through, even when the future feels uncertain.

✍️ In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • How we can find peace in the unknown, even when life surprises us
  • Why it’s okay (and even good) to be glad we didn’t know everything ahead
  • How our personal journeys strengthen our calling in missions
  • Practical ways we can stay grounded, no matter what life brings
  • Tips for balancing structure with flexibility in our daily lives and ministries


💡Questions to Ponder as You Listen:

  • Where in my life have I felt grateful not to know what was coming?
  • How do I usually respond to unexpected twists—am I open or resistant?
  • What stories from my past show God’s faithfulness through surprises?
  • How can I stay flexible and trusting when plans suddenly change?
  • In what ways might God be calling me to release control right now?


Thanks for listening! Email us your questions at care@modernday.org

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Welcome to Modern Day Missionaries, a podcast by Modern Day. Missions created for missionaries by missionaries. I'm your host, Stephanie Gutierrez 

Have you ever looked back on a really tough time in life or maybe a huge thing God called you into and thought, I am so glad back then that I didn't know that that would be a part of my future? Well, in this episode, we talk Vonna Laue, author of Glad I Didn't Know, about the unexpected twists and turns in the life of a missionary. We talk about how to plan, how to flex, how to trust and how to always hope. 

[00:00:36] Stephanie Gutierrez: Vonna, welcome to the podcast. We're so happy to have you today. 

[00:00:40] Vonna Laue: Thanks for having me, Stephanie. I'm looking forward to this conversation. 

[00:00:44] Stephanie Gutierrez: Same. And I've so enjoyed reading the book that you have coming out in December, which I think is when this episode is going to be aired, Glad I Didn't Know. And so we're going to be talking about that a little bit today, and I'm sure our listeners can gather a little bit of where this conversation is going, just based on the title.

How did you come up with the title for the book?

[00:01:03] Vonna Laue: You know, honestly, it was just the, the process of walking through stories and it became the common theme. And it is the standout item that most people comment on. They're like, I love the title. And I realized it wasn't this strenuous exercise and what's it going to get titled, what are the right words for it? It's just life story I think for most of us, right?

[00:01:30] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah, well, and you and I were mentioning a little bit beforehand when we were talking, missionaries sure know all about this. Definitely know that life is a I don't want to say unplanned, but unplanned in terms of how we had planned things out. Unexpected. Things are always shifting and changing and we get to learn to be flexible.

And there's so many times, like you said, I've looked back and went, I'm really glad I did not know that was going to be part of my life. I mean, I said that about our move to be missionaries. I'm so glad I did not know when I married my husband that we were going to end up being missionaries. I'm glad I didn't know we were going to have a child with special needs.

There's so many things in life where I've said that exact phrase. So it resonated with me right away. And I know for all our listeners, they're probably thinking, huh, what are some of those things in life? I'm glad I didn't know beforehand. And you have a missions connection as well. We were talking about, so I'd love for you to share a little bit about your connection to mission and your passion for missionaries.

[00:02:26] Vonna Laue: Well, my whole career has been serving Christian ministries and churches and have had that privilege in a couple of different avenues. But most recently, have come on staff with TEAM, the Evangelical Alliance Mission, and serve in a role, as with most of our organizations, long title Executive Director of Global Services, which really just means the COO, as well as the Chief Financial Officer.

And it's such a joy to do that. And one of the things that I really work hard to do is break down that barrier between us and them. So staff and missionaries are global workers. We're all called, we're all called to missions. We just have different roles. So it is a joy to do that. And certainly I see a lot of Glad I Didn't Know stories lived out on the field week in and week out. 

But I also have another opportunity to be involved in missions in a different way. Our daughter and son in law and 10 month old grandson are fundraising to go to Paraguay long term with World Gospel Mission. And so, we're excited for them. Since 8th grade, Bethany has just really sensed God calling her to missions, and he gave her an amazing husband who was an MK and has a heart for Paraguay. And so they're planning to do that in 2025. 

And, and, you know, it has been a lesson for me. I am fully supportive. My husband and I clearly see God's hand in this. And so we're excited for them, but we're still parents and grandparents, right? And so we're looking at it from that perspective of you're moving to a different continent and we're not going to see you, you know, frequently. I am thankful that in the 20 plus years serving ministries, I've seen us move from, you know, be gone 4 years, come home for a year, no long distance phone calls, maybe once a month, you make that international call to now.

We have all of these different ways, but what I've said is this is God's way of giving me a new ministry within team, and I think that eventually our orientation process will probably include, um, just an open phone call with maybe my husband and I, or at least myself with parents of those who are being sent to just listen and affirm them and encourage them and tell them what we did right and what we messed up because we're going to do some of that too.

But just to see missions from different perspectives, even as we're negotiating health insurance rates right now, I'm looking at it from that perspective, but I'm also looking at it from the perspective of, wow, if they had to raise this much more, there's a significant impact. So I've had a lot of different opportunities recently.

[00:05:25] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. I love that you mentioned all that you're experiencing personally now is impacting your professional life as well. And vice versa. They're really feeding into each other. God is always doing new things, like you said, that are very unexpected. 

So you talk in the book, I love it, basically you say you're a self professed control freak. And I'm positive that you are not the only person in this space––I’m including the room in which everybody's listening––to feel that way. So there's the side of Vonna of this control and planning and preparation, which are all good things. And then there's the other side of things, which is the flow and, uh, flexibility.

And so we've got these, this spectrum, and obviously you can go to extremes on either side. There’s the control side, and then the whatever happens, whatever will be, will be, que sera, sera side of things. I'd love to hear from you a little bit about how we can be responsible planners and preparers, and then yet sometimes just straight up relinquish control.

How do we, depending on our personalities, how do we avoid falling into one of those two traps of the extremes?

[00:06:44] Vonna Laue: Well, I have long said, I think if you did an MRI, you may not find a right side of my brain. I am so left brained. I am so analytical. I am so type A. And so I have found myself over the years going to the Lord and saying, here's my plan. Just sign here. I'll be on my way. I won't trouble you at all. 

And boy, that's not how God works. We are invited into a relationship with him. We're invited to be obedient because we know he's faithful. And so stepping back from that and saying, it's not my plan. It's God's plan. And Stephanie, I'll tell you, just recently, someone told me a mission story that I'm pretty sure I am going to keep with me for the rest of my life.

And that is a new couple went to a field. And when they arrived there, the leader on that field, um, handed them a blank piece of paper and said, so sign here. And they said, that's a blank piece of paper. What am I signing? And they said, that's exactly what you've told God you're going to do. When you came here, you gave him a blank piece of paper and you said, I'll go and Lord, you fill in the blank.

And I just think that's such a great analogy about what we're called to do. Just sign here and follow God. Now, I will say one of the ways personally, that when I came to Christ as a teenager, I had a teacher that, that talked about the fact that it's easier to steer a moving vehicle than one that's sitting still.

You know, if you're sitting in a parking lot and you're trying to turn the steering wheel. It's really hard to do that. But if you're driving down the road at 40 or 50 miles an hour, even a slight movement of the steering wheel, you make some pretty significant course corrections, right? And so I think that's a, also a good analogy of God expects us to move.

Like he doesn't want us to just sit there and say, okay, when you, when you tell me clearly what I'm supposed to do, then I'll go do that. Go. Do something, but listen prayerfully and through the Word to how God's directing you. And he'll make those course corrections, but don't just sit around.

[00:09:13] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah, you know, I'm thinking, what you said just made me think of a really, I think important, significant piece in the book where you're talking about being in that sandwich generation. And you're talking about caring for your parents who lived in two different states, then your grandpa at a different point, and then you're still a mom. I mean, now you just shared, you've just become a grandma. 

So you've got all these different roles and hats. And there's that piece of preparation. I mean, you know, your parents are going to get older at some point, but you don't know when and how that's going to play out and look. And I actually think that's really relevant because I think there are a lot of missionaries on the field right now. who have parents back home. Maybe they have grandparents back home. I know that was one of my biggest concerns when we moved. My grandma was getting older and I thought is how can I help my mom with that? And now that we've moved back, she's passed away, but my grandpa is still alive.

 I'd love to even just dig in a little bit with that about the preparation. Let's say that we're talking to missionaries who are in that situation where they're wanting to prepare and care for people back home. Um, And yet they're not sure what to do because they've signed a blank piece of paper for the Lord. What does that look like?

[00:10:27] Vonna Laue: Right. Well, I encourage good communication. I think sometimes we have expectations that are maybe unrealistic. I think sometimes there are unspoken expectations So in that situation, you know, if your mom expected you to help with this, but didn't say anything, then she's going to be disappointed, right?

That you're not there. And so just having good communication. And that's where I have this heart to come alongside parents of missionaries and help encourage them. Um, but being able to, to plan, but know that we don't know the day, the hour. what may come. And so someone may choose to not go or to extend home assignment and grandma or mom and dad are just fine for years beyond what we expect. And we've missed that opportunity. And at the same time, I clearly understand you may go to the field and a week later be coming back in an emergency situation. And so communication, I think is key. is key. Making sure that you are comfortable with the plans that are in place, that you've communicated with other family members, that they know what to expect.

Even living stateside, you know, I grew up in an area of the country where people didn't leave. Like, It was a really close knit, you know, all of my classmates stayed in the area, family stayed in the area, and so when we moved to another state, that was a big deal. It wasn't even across the world, it was just across the country.

And I always said, I'll be home, like there are planes. And when something did happen, you read in one of the chapters, and I lost my stepdad suddenly, I was home within 12 hours. And, you know, it's more complicated when you're in Kenya or you're in Tanzania or Malaysia, but in this day and age, a lot of us are coming home, right?

When something happens and there's a need. So we're living in a little bit different era of missions, like I said earlier than we were 20 or 25 years ago. And so planning for what is the expectation? Communicating with your spouse. You know, are we, are we going to go as a family? If something happens, you know, is just the affected spouse's family? Is that person going to go? But having those communications up front when there isn't the, the intensity of a dramatic situation, things can change, but at least having those conversations.

I know one of my colleagues said, when they were serving in Spain, that was one thing that was really hard when, when he lost someone was he was like, well, I'll just go home and take care of things and come back.

And his spouse was like, but this affects the whole family. And he didn't even think about that. Right. It was like, well, I'm just going to take care of business and be home and we'll be back to ministry. So you can only plan so much, but do plan ahead and have conversations and then trust what the Lord's gonna do.

[00:13:48] Stephanie Gutierrez: Absolutely. I mean, looking again at the title––Glad I Didn't Know––there are things that we do know, and we don't know when or how or what that looks like. But there, there are things that we do know that we can do something about. And then the rest of that, like you said, is like, okay, Lord, I've got my contingency plans. I've got my very few things that I know that I can do. And then from there, it is better to not know sometimes. It really is. Right. What would be, what are those moments for you that you're just really glad that you did not know it was going to play out the way it did? 

[00:14:28] Vonna Laue: We had a one year time frame where it started off, I had been serving where I was for 20 years and I had told people for probably at least 10 of those last 20 years that I was a lifer. This is where I'm gonna retire. I'm gonna be here forever.

And one summer, I sensed that God was saying, you're done. You've done what I've called you to do here. And I argued with him, Stephanie, I don't know if you or any of your listeners have ever done that. If you haven't, I don't advise it. It's really fruitless. He's, he's pretty good. Uh, and so I argued and said, you know, I'm a lifer.

And he said, no. And I said, this is economically ridiculous. And he said, so it's like, Oh, I guess he can probably handle that too. And then I even said, our oldest daughter's headed off to college, but our youngest daughter's headed into high school. Just wait four years. Like you can disrupt my husband's in my life, but just wait four years. And he said, no. 

And so we were praying about it and we actually were taking a trip to Kenya. And so I determined that we'll go to Kenya and I said we’ll wait till that's done and we'll come back and see if we have any more clarity. And when we came back, it was, it was just abundantly clear. And so stepped out in faith and said, I'm going to leave this position now.

Again, I'll reference back. I am a left brain type A analytical person and stepped out of that without having something that I was stepping into. And the situation in our family for a number of years has been that my husband was a stay at home dad and was amazing at that. And that was his role and I worked.

And so when we chose to step out of this, that meant we were leaving our sole income and stepping out of this. And so when people say, oh, that's great. What are you going to do? And you have to look him in the eye and say, I have no idea. I'll fast forward briefly through the next four months. But the week that I let my partners know that I would be leaving, uh, our oldest daughter had a pretty significant injury and that changed the course of the next year for her, as well as kind of her future.

Uh, we were at one point going away for the weekend. My husband and oldest daughter were on a college recruiting trip. My youngest daughter and I went. to the beach for a weekend and when we came home on Sunday morning to get ready for church, I could hear this weird sound and walked into our house that was completely flooded.

A gasket had broke in the bathroom shortly after we left on Friday evening and it had been pouring water into our home for about 36 hours or more, uh, and did about $60,000 worth of damage and we couldn't live in it for the next four months. And then topped it off about six weeks later by suddenly losing my stepdad who had been in our lives for 25, 30 years.

So that was a series of time where it was just one thing after another. And each one of those things, you know, that was a four month period, but each one of those things I can look back and say, I'm glad I didn't know. You know, I'm glad I didn't know. That I was going to leave my job because I'd have done things differently and tried to orchestrate it. That's not what God called me to do.

He just called me to be obedient and take the next step and I'm glad I didn't know about the injury with our daughter because that literally changed the course of her life and now ministry But I guarantee you that we'd have avoided that. She wouldn't have been on the court for that volleyball game. No way. Um, our house flooding. Now, I will, I will say and have said, I am faithful now to shut off the water when we leave the house and go out of town because my husband always did that. I willfully chose not to and that was a bad choice. But at the same time, The Lord worked that out. He had a move intended for us that we didn't know at the time and we had a remodeled house to put on the market.

Losing my stepdad, there are benefits that came to that. We miss him, but it gave new life to my mom who really was almost housebound with him at that time. So I can look back on each of those and see how God worked through them, but if I had known in advance, boy, I'd have done everything I could to orchestrate not doing it.

And I I think that's the way that all of us operate. I mean, I look at someone who's listening to this that may very well be facing aging parents, like we just talked about, and they've maybe got some conflict on the field with some of the, their co laborers, and they've got educational needs for their children that they're trying to figure out, and it's just like, what is this season, Lord?

And yet, at the same time, If they can step back and look at all the things that God has brought them through, that they're glad they didn't know, that the lessons that they've learned through that time and the way that God's brought them closer to him in relationship, changed their lives in some way, changed their ministry in some way.

If nothing else, if today they can just stop and think back on that and reflect on God's faithfulness. That's my encouragement to them.

[00:20:16] Stephanie Gutierrez: That hindsight is 2020, so you're just saying for those who are in the middle of pain right now, and it's hard to see, things just look fuzzy and blurry ahead, just remembering back to what God's done in the past to encourage them as they go forward. Vonna, what would you say to a missionary today? Who feels like if somebody says Romans 828 to me one more time, I'm going to kick them in the shins. I can't do it. They're just in the middle of a hard time and they don't want to look back and they're frustrated. 

[00:20:51] Vonna Laue: Yep. I would encourage them to do this Psalms project. And, and by that I mean, went through Psalms one time, and you can do this project in 30 minutes or less. You know, there's 150 psalms, you're thinking I'm crazy, but if you just go through and look at the header of each of the psalms, and look at, is it a psalm of joy and rejoicing? Or is it a psalm of lament and anguish? You'll see that it goes back and forth. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I literally have them written down. I'm an accountant, right? I have them in columnar format. With the joy on one side and the troubles and anguish on the other side. 

But you'll see that, like, there are six chapters of joy and four chapters of anguish and one of joy and one of lament and three of joy and six of anguish and it just goes back and forth and as I read through psalms and even if you just look at the headers to see what it is, you'll see that's just how life is. It goes back and forth and so I refer to that as seasons of life and that you know, maybe right now for somebody is winter and you are just like buried in this blizzard and it's cold and it's lonely and it's windy and it's miserable, but just as the seasons change and have every year of your life, they do emotionally and spiritually as well.

And so spring will come, but I think that's the power of story. And so that's why I encourage people to look at Psalms, you know, look at the stories of others. It's why, uh, I actually put together Glad I Didn't Know. And I changed the way that I did it because initially they were all stories that I had written.

And then I realized if I did that, somebody would look at it kind of like what you were just saying. And they might be like, well, that's good for that person. And that's how God worked in that person's life. but brought in 15 other people. And so as you read through there, you realize, no, that's just how God works.

And so I think there's power in story. So listen to other people's stories about where they are or where they have come through and be encouraged and blessed by that.

[00:23:19] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. You're so right about the power of story. And that is a great thing that you did because somebody might be listening to, and they're not a type A and maybe they don't resonate with the way that you experienced a story. But there is, there's so many other stories in here, in here, of people who look at life from a different way. One of my favorite ones, I think, was the one by, what was it? Edgar Sand, 

[00:23:41] Vonna Laue: Sandoval, 

[00:23:42] Stephanie Gutierrez: Sandoval, 

[00:23:43] Vonna Laue: Yeah.

[00:23:44] Stephanie Gutierrez: who was, he was the former CEO of World Vision, right? 

[00:23:47] Vonna Laue: he's the current, uh, CEO for World Vision U. S. 

[00:23:51] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah, I really enjoyed Edgar's story. 

[00:23:55] Vonna Laue: And he tells it with such, um, there's just such enjoyment in being able to read through there because it's a great story and there's laughter and joy and there's also a lot of difficulty and hard times. Uh, and that's one of the things that I think is so important It's fun about the book, but, but true about life.

So by that, I mean, there are stories from people that were 24 to stories of people that were 88. There are Americans and non Americans. There are men, there are women. And, you know, you've read through that and that story stood out to you. But if you read it again six months or a year from now, There are probably one or two different stories that would resonate because we have different things that we go through in life.

And so that's why I encourage people just to listen to other people's stories and see how God's working.

[00:24:57] Stephanie Gutierrez: I love it, too, that you're leaning into stories because as this, again, self professed left brained person, you think of a right brain as more of a story, as more of the story, more of the inspiration, and the left is more of the practical steps. And I find myself maybe somewhere in the middle, but probably leaning a little bit more left.

I like practical steps. And so in things like this, we want practicality. And you have mentioned some tangible things that people can do, but there is something so powerful about stories. I know there's this book called Life is in the Transitionsby Bruce Feiler. And he speaks about three different types of narratives that we tell.

And he says, there's the ascending, the descending, and the oscillating. And the ascending story is the story of how our family, you know, was in a terrible place and, and life was awful. And look at us, we climbed out and now we're a success story. 

And then there's the descending story, and that's the story of how we used to have it all. We were the you know, the kings and queens of the area of the city. I don't know. Our family had everything and basically we lost it all and look at us now. And so you look back with regret. 

And then he talks about the oscillating narrative, which really, this is what this book is full of, especially you look at all your different stories and what you've told, an oscillating narrative is going up and down and up and down. And we hit this hard Valley and then God pulled us through and then we hit this other hard bump and we came through again. And they say that the oscillating narrative is actually the narrative that's most helpful for children and for people in general in terms of determining their resiliency. 

And so this is full of those kinds of stories, stories of how God never leaves us where we find ourselves and he always brings us back up. And yet, we know that there are challenges ahead. 

So I guess on that note, how do you keep from waiting for the other shoe to drop and enjoy the good moments when you're in those happy spots?

[00:26:51] Vonna Laue: Fill the tank, right? That's, that's what we need to do. And a lot of times that's the people around us, you know, being able to be in the moment and enjoy. I'm thankful with our family there are certain things that I miss, you know, I, I might get on a shuttle bus somewhere and I watch a young family get their little kids and they're struggling with the stroller and the diaper bag and the pack and play and all of that.

And I look at that and I laugh and think, I'm glad I'm not there, but I really miss it. You know, so there are things I miss, but I don't have regrets about it. And I think. To your point, it's living in that moment. Like, enjoy what you have, um, and that fills you up and you'll be able to reflect back on that.

Whether, whether it's as something as simple as the memories that you make with people, your friends, your colleagues, your family, or reflecting back on God's faithfulness. So living in that moment, you know, when I. When I left my job, as I was talking about in that story, one of the things that was impressed on me, that the Lord just was trying to get me to do, was to be still.

And I am not a be still person. I currently have three different roles with three different organizations, serve on three boards, like I'm not a be still person. And I think that's exactly why God wanted me to do that. And so to those people that are in those moments, I also would encourage you to be still.

See the little thing God's doing around you because they're amazing. I remember something so simple as sitting out on the back deck one day and it had. It had just finished raining and I'm sitting out there and there was a, like a mud puddle, just a puddle, and a drop fell into that puddle and it was stunningly beautiful. I had never noticed a drop of water before, but when we have those moments, when we are in the good times, to allow ourselves to be still and to be filled. And to see God's faithfulness there, may be some of the best advice I can give.

[00:29:22] Stephanie Gutierrez: It's so true because I think that some of the scariest moments For me, I think as life has gone on, has been in some of those good moments, you know, we think we need strength for the tough stuff, but it's funny living on the mission field, you get pretty used to the tough stuff. Life feels sometimes like it's mostly made up of tough stuff, although there is a ton of joy and beauty mixed in with that, but it's a life with a lot of extremes, a lot of hardship and a lot of joy. 

But all of a sudden, when there's moments of peace and things feel like they're all going good, and it's like, where's the battle? I'm not in one. It can be hard, like you said, to be still or to enjoy that or to take that in. Because I think the enemy wants to use those moments to be like, well, you know something else is coming. 

Because in life, we do know things are coming and he can create this anticipatory stress and fear of something before it even happens, which completely robs us of this moment of joy and peace that we had been waiting and praying for. So the enemy wants to come in and just destroy all of that. And it is, whether it’s enjoying the joy in the midst of a battle, or enjoying that time of, of, of peace and happiness in between battles. Those are moments, I think, where God really wants to breathe fresh life into us and help us get refreshed and give us the strength for what's next. And just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Like you said, but yeah, that slowing down piece is real.

I don't think of myself as a poetry person. I used to read it in high school because I don't know. That's what my friends were doing. But I recently started reading Mary Oliver, I think at the beginning of summer, so a couple months ago. And I just read a poem every day, and she writes about things in nature and slows it down and makes it so small, it's like she holds a magnifying glass up to life. And that's been really soothing for me to just connect with where I'm at. Have, what are some things for you that have been helpful for you to be able to slow life down? 

You mentioned looking at a droplet of water. How else are you able to slow down and enjoy and see what it is that God's doing that's good in life, whether it's in a busy season or in a quieter season?

[00:31:40] Vonna Laue: Sure. So I am intentional, um, about three things every day. One is my devotions and one is working out. And those are things that I find that when life gets busier and more hectic are the first things to go. And they are the most important things that I need. And so I'm just going to I'm pretty convinced that those are important things.

The third thing is, again, from the practical standpoint, right, there is nothing super spiritual about this, but I each day look at my calendar in the morning when I'm stopped and it's quiet, and I pray for each of my meetings or appointments that day, then. Because life happens, like, as soon as you get ready for the day, I'm guessing most people that are listening to this don't slow down until, you know, the end of the day when they put their glasses on the bedside table, right?

And it's too easy for me to just run from one thing to the next, you know, one meeting with a person to a phone call with someone else, whatever. And so, to intentionally take that time and commit it to the Lord. And then know that as I go into those conversations that they've already been prayed over, that I've already invited God into it.

That for me has just practically been really helpful. Um, as far as, you know, maybe on a broader scale, I, I do think that our lives are completely interrelated. Um, the ability to compartmentalize. for most of us, I think doesn't exist. And so I give you this example. 

One of the things that I do when I speak is I ask everybody to write down all the roles they have. And most of us think about keeping, you know, our faith, our family, and our work. Like if we can keep those three things in balance, we're doing pretty good, right? Well, but if you write out all the roles you have, You know, you're probably, you're a daughter and a granddaughter and a wife and a mom and a sister and maybe an aunt and a neighbor to two or three different people and a friend to, you know, eight people.

There's eight more roles and you work and you volunteer in three capacity. All of a sudden you have 20 roles. Easy. And then you realize why it's so hard to keep things. imbalance, because you're not trying to just balance three things. You're trying to balance 20 of them. And so to understand that and give yourself some freedom to understand, you're not going to do it perfect all the time to focus on where do I need to put more energy right now? Where, quite honestly, let, I mean, let's be honest, where can I let things slip a little bit right now? Because something else is taking time and attention. I think to assess that on a periodic basis can really be helpful. And then just to find joy where you can find it. 

Now, my husband used to say that I was a cup two thirds full. He's like, you know, there are people that are half full. He's like, you are a cup two thirds full. A few years ago, he changed that. And he's like, you are a cup eleven tenths full. Like, you are overly optimistic. And he actually, one day in a Sunday school, in a life group, they did this thing and they said, they gave everyone a postcard and said anonymously, write down what one thing is that you love most about your spouse and what the one thing is that annoys you most about your spouse.

And then they handed them in and they would read them out loud and everybody would guess who it was. And this one said, what I love most about my spouse is that this person is, um, like, hopelessly optimistic, and what I am driven crazy most about is that this person is hopelessly optimistic, and the entire class said, Vonna, like, so, so sometimes that bites me, but I just think, um, there is a lot that comes at us and so working intentionally at having some structure in place. to minimize what we can, but then finding joy in some of the other little things that come along.

[00:36:23] Stephanie Gutierrez: That's so good. That structure and margin both are needed. That's how we begin talking today about the, the two extremes. And if we go to one versus the other, we miss out on what God has for us in that space. And when we look at, you know, the glad I didn't know the unexpected, the things that come into our life, if we don't have, um, a structure to hold us built in place, but also margin within that. When our schedules are so packed every single second with something that we're doing, then when something like this happens, because they do, our whole life falls to pieces. Whereas if we, if we've got some margin built in, if we have a recognition that life is going to change at some point, we don't know how, then we're able to absorb it.

It's kind of like shock absorbers. Where we go, okay, yeah, life is different. Yes, maybe even this turned my life upside down, but there was some margin built in to help me flex and there was some structure built in place to hold me together. So that's so good. And I think that speaks to people again on both sides of it. So, 

For our listeners, what do you naturally gravitate towards? Do you gravitate more towards that highly structured piece or that go with the flow piece? How might God be calling you to build either some more structure in your place to ground you or some margin in your life to help you absorb the things that will come your way? Whether the, and not expected can be really good things too. It's not always just bad things. It's sometimes we're glad we didn't know God was going to call us into something big and huge and exciting because it would have scared the pants off us.

[00:37:59] Vonna Laue: Well, and that's really important, Stephanie, to think about that. And I wanted to make sure that we highlighted that as well, because we've talked about the challenges, right? And so the subtitle is, um, Lessons Learned Through Life's Challenges and Unexpected Blessings. And so we've talked about those challenges, but the reason that I think it's important to reflect on the things we're glad we didn't know about the blessings is twofold.

And one is, think about if God had only given you what you've prayed for. Where would you be? 

[00:38:35] Stephanie Gutierrez: Yeah. 

[00:38:36] Vonna Laue: It would probably look significantly different than it does for you today. And so that's one aspect of it. But also in those, in those blessings, if God had told us, so I have this immense pleasure and privilege of chairing the World Vision U.S. board. If God had told me 10 years ago that I was going to be on the board, much less chairing it, I would have thought I need this education. I need to network with these people. I need this experience. And I'd have tried to orchestrate it.

And all God was saying was, I need you to be obedient in the next step. And so for each of us to just be obedient in the next step, but I do think it's important for people to reflect on where are you? What would, where would you be if you only had what God had, what you had asked God for? And if he had told you about these good things, what, what might you have done differently?

And it would have impacted negatively where you ended up. you asked me structure versus margin. I am a structure person. My favorite work day of the year is the first work day after New Year's, and I get my hot chocolate. And I block it. And I sit with my paper and my calendar, and I plan out for each of those roles the things that I want to do for the year.

What do I want to invest in, in that year? Literally, by role, and then break that down into quarterly, and then break that down into monthly, and that helps me see where, let's see, I have 6 conferences and 4 board meetings in September. That is not going to work. Schedule wise, that's not even humanly possible.

And I, so I'm a planner though. Everyone that's around me knows. That I have what I believe to be a well designed plan a. And my plan B is always wing it. So if my plan A doesn't work really well, then I'm not going to come up with plans B, C, and D because that's a lot of effort that may never be needed or come to fruition.

So I structure well and then have everything in place to support me just winging it beyond that.

[00:41:04] Stephanie Gutierrez: And I love that you shared your process because I suppose that's different for everybody else. Some people are probably totally relating. Other people love plan B's and C's and D's and E's and F's. And that actually is energizing for them to put those things together. And other people are just, they're flowing and they're going and. Yeah, I mean, God calls us all into it in different ways. So some combination of structure and flexibility is important, but how God leads you into that…I think your personality plays a factor in that. Um, your level of maturity, I think that's be real as well. As we grow in the Lord, we, we grow into being able to hold those two spaces well together. And, um, but yeah, different for 

[00:41:42] Vonna Laue: over time, right? 

Like what worked for us. 20 years ago was different than what worked for us 10 years ago, which is different than what works for us now and what will work for us in the future. And so that's one area where I think sometimes we can be a little rigid and this is how we've always done it and we expect the same outcome.

And so for people to realize different seasons of life, and it may not be measured in years, uh, for some of us that are in a really fluid season, you know, somebody that's trying to get on the field right now. You're measuring that in months and probably weeks, and you'll get to a point where you're measuring it in days, right?

You just being fluid. Someone that's been on the field for decades, that's looking at making a transition back home. That's going to look different. Your routines and your structures are about to be upended completely. So. Being willing to be flexible and, and recognize that even personally, we can't do things the same indefinitely.

[00:42:47] Stephanie Gutierrez: You are very right with that in that. I think. Life, experience, changes of roles, does change us, not at our core in that fundamental sense. We're still the same person we are, but it's fascinating how God can help you learn. get really good at something that you were really terrible at before. So yeah, don't, don't discount it.

Don't say just because I'm this way now, I couldn't ever be that way in the future because he will, he'll, he, maybe you're glad you'll be glad you didn't know, but he'll bring some things into your life or things will be brought into your life that will shift you and change you. And, uh, that's such a good remember or a good, a good, that's such a good thing to remember. Such a good thing to remember that we're always shifting. We're always changing and God has new things he wants to do in us. Vonna, do you have any closing words for our listeners today?

[00:43:37] Vonna Laue: I would just encourage, um, take a few minutes. I'm super encouraged that they're taking advantage of this great podcast. But take a few minutes, schedule it if you can't do it right now, to just reflect back on how God's working in your life right now. Look at those stories that you're glad you didn't know.

Reflect back and this book came about by initially reflecting on a really difficult season and then remembering all of the seasons that we had come through that had been difficult that I was glad I didn't know in advance. And so, encourage people to take a few minutes and do that. And then to just what we were talking about a moment ago. Reflect on the things that you're really excited about, that bless, you have been blessed, um, immensely, and think about how you're glad you didn't know those things in advance either, um, and then share those stories.

Um, we're doing that, even just one of the departments at TEAM is sharing their glad I didn't know story individually with each other at devotions, because the power of story and what we're learning from each other is just a gift. So that's my encouragement today.

[00:44:55] Stephanie Gutierrez: That's so good. I hope everybody is thinking right now of one of their glad I didn't know stories and they can take that and share it, whether it's with a supporter, whether it's with someone they serve, with a family member, with their kids. It is so good to remind ourselves of how God's always got our back all the time. And that's good things ahead. Thank you so much for joining us and our future. You're absolutely right. Thanks so much for joining us today, Vonna. We really appreciate it.

[00:45:20] Vonna Laue: My privilege. Thank you for the opportunity. 

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Stephanie Leigh Gutierrez

Host
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Luke Eubank

Producer